Time goes bye!!!

Wow, time is flying. It's been quite a ride the past week. I had a great weekend and I'm slowly coming off the high and lost of energy because I had a long time waiting for a girls night out without kids and a hubby. It's not like the old days where you go out to bars to drink and just do stupid stuff and us girls watched a good movie and ate some junk food. This was Saturday night and Sunday we went to a birthday party. Nothing new on the home front and because I'm in Birthday mode seeing how Birthday season is upon my family I'm think of cool toys to get various kids in my family for their up and coming birthdays. It's funny over the years how many babies have been born in a matter of 10 years. When the hubby and I were together there were maybe 6 little kids in our family to now a whooping 22 kids to buy birthday presents for and I'm not including friends of mine with kids. I enjoy buying presents and I like thinking of the person when I buy a gift. Who they are and what they like. I didn't like it as a kid to get a gift from someone who didn't think to stop and ask themselves if I would like it but just gave me a gift because it was cheap or something. Of course, I was polite and said my thank you's but it's not a gift I would use or play with or be caught dead in. My parents were a hit and miss with me. I think the sky lit up when I got my downhill ski's for Christmas because the look on my face with delight must have been priceless. The ugly yellow/blue gym suit I got when I was 12 or something was not a great gift. I don't know what my mother was thinking when she picked that outfit out. I'm glad it got exchanged for something I did enjoy. So with all the gift shopping I just love shopping and trying to find good deals so the next couple of months will be fun for me....so please give me the energy to get out and shop like crazy :) Oh I forgot to mention the hubby and I are going to get rid of our land line phone and cable. It's not like we're hurting for money but being more aware of how we are throwing away the hubby's hard earned money. We have cable, Internet and phone in one package which when we signed up for was a great deal but now not so much. Our 3-in-one package is outrageous and a rip off and now we're looking for other solutions. Most of the shows we watch on TV you can watch online now so it's not like we'll miss our favorite shows. No one calls us on our regular phone line but someone trying to sell us something. We do have cell phones so it's kind of silly to have both now plus we have roll over minutes in the thousands. The people who do call us in a blue moon can call our cell phones instead once we decide to end our service. So if we lose our cable and phone it's saving us roughly $100 a month. Now I just need to cut back on my huge Diet Pepsi habit and the savings will add up. It's always a good thing to have a large safely net in the bank and with the economy going down the toilet and the prices of things going up faster then I can type this I think it's better to be smart and get rid of the non essential expenses and focus on expenses you can't live without like the basic..shelter and food. I think we'll adjust just fine and realize we didn't need all that stuff in the first place and now the Internet is getting better showing all the cable shows like Hulu.com I think maybe I'll be more inclined to watch less TV...I don't know but we'll see...HA!!!! Take care, Peace!!!!

Night out with Thomas!!!

The family last night went to see Thomas Live. It was worth the huge sum of money to go. I have to admit I had some anxiety worried one of the kids wouldn't love it and we would have to leave. We got their a little early and found our seats. Earlier during the day the daughter was telling me she wanted to buy some popcorn for the show. I didn't know if they did that so I told her we will see. Well when we got there they were selling big bags of popcorn and other candy treats so we had to buy some. The daughter pointed out.."see I told you they sell popcorn here",. She was right but she waiting until we got home to eat from the bag of popcorn we bought. I guess eating during the show was distracting or something. We also got two t-shirts for the kids, two light up toys and two kid straws. At the end of the night it cost us over $100 but it was all worth it. The kids really enjoyed themselves and we had a wonderful time as a family. The show started and the daughter sat with daddy on his lap because she had a hard time seeing so I took the son. He stood up on the chair most of the show. My inner thighs are sore from getting danced on for an hour and a half. The son had a blast so in turn I had a blast. It was a great night. We sang and the son danced on the chair and the Thomas show was entertaining. The picture was taken illegally of the Thomas sign. I thought you couldn't take pictures during the show because of the flash and all but I was told after this picture was taken no one could take pictures in the venue or your camera could be taken away. Oops, I got some pictures of the family sitting in our seats before the show started. We have the memories on film and I'm thinking of maybe going again if Thomas comes back next year IF the kids are still interested in Thomas but I'm sure they still will. Take care, Peace!!!

Raccoons and craziness!

Well we were surprised to find in our Backyard Sunday Night but a raccoon. They are so cute like a big huge kitty. I happily enjoyed watching our new friend trying to find food so don't tell anyone.....I got some peanuts and threw them outside for our fuzzy creature and the hubby was kind to go out and take some pictures for me. We haven't seen him/her since. Well I hope everyone had a good Valentine's Day. It's not much of a Holiday in our family. We did get the kids Balloons and some nice singing cards, made a nice dinner and that's about wraps up our Saturday and oh..I did some cleaning too. I almost lost it yesterday. Thanks for President Day the hubby didn't have to go into the office so we had a much needed family time spent together. Everything was fine in the world until I went to get the daughter from her quiet time. I walked in and smelled urine..pee. I didn't realize the hubby let Manny in with her for company..Manny is one of our cats and never thought anything of it at the moment. The daughter got into her potty. Yes, she had a potty in her room because the upstairs isn't childproof yet so the next solution was put in a potty in her room. I never thought she would play with her pee. She had that potty in there for months now so it never crossed my mind she would play with it but yesterday she did and not only did she play with it but decided to give our Manny a bath with said urine. Poor cat and now he stinks. I didn't want to give him a washing seeing how he's already traumatized by the daughter. So we had the talk of why this is so wrong to give the cat a bath with urine. Last night we went out to dinner and decided on the way back to stop into Home Depot. I wanted to look at samples of designs for Kitchens and the hubby was buying new pipes for my dryer. I managed to get from the opening to the Kitchen department but then the headaches started. I'm allergic to Home Depot. I should know better for going there but I never learn my lesson. Every time I go to Home Depot I get sick with headaches, nausea, upset stomach the whole works. I itch like mad and it's just a mess. We went around 8pm and I started feeling semi normal around 12am. I don't think I'll go to Home Depot again unless I want to punish myself. I only wanted samples for my Kitchen and all I got was feeling sick. I will have to show the hubby what I am looking for like paint colors and such and make him bring me home some samples. I want to re-due my Kitchen. It's already a beautiful kitchen but I want to make it my own so I want to color the walls and maybe down the road re stain the cabinets to a dark Mahogany and it should bring out the colors on my counter tops. So exciting with so many ideas. I'm hoping to start painting in the spring. Oh the kids are going to kill me. The hearing of screaming, fighting and just plain crankiness is making my head spin. The daughter just had an epiphany today. She was getting upset because the son was getting in her business and she didn't like it. So I told her to treat her brother the way she wanted to be treated and he wouldn't do some of the stuff to her if she would stop picking on him all the time. She then realized she was teaching him to do those things she hates him doing to her. My daughter is finally realizing she's a bully to her brother and teaching him to be a bully back. Oh how the universe works and makes my job just a little easier. Well Take Care, Peace!!!! Oh and one last thing. I got some of my test results back and my anemia is worse again. My iron is low but what's funny about this I don't know what to do about it because my Doctor's are dumb asses. The end!!!!

Friday the 13th!!!

Well it's been a weird week, first my dryer decided to go on a vacation and it took me three straight days to dry 2 loads of laundry and second the last washing my spin cycle decided to take a vacation also and I had to spin dry the load 3 times before my washing machine started to work again. Then when I told the hubby my dryer wasn't working he went in and checked it out and it was working just fine. I really don't like that. Why can't it work for me when I need it too? I don't like wet clothes sitting for along time because then I'm feeling like I need to re-wash the clothes again because of my OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) habit. I'm getting better at it but hey, things don't change over night. One of these days I'll explain my OCDness but right now I'm trying to write this fast with a boy clinging to my neck screaming in my ear. Oh and sorry about misspelled words and grammar on my blog. I was never really great at it even as a kid and they call it some form of learning disability but never quite remember the tech term of what I have. So sorry again if my rants and ramblings don't make sense sometimes not that I'm using this as an excuse for bad spelling and grammer errors. The children are having an off week and I'm learning to have more patience with lots of prayer backing me up. Then this morning I was thinking about what the family was going to do tomorrow because of Valentine's Day and realized it's Friday the 13th. I don't like this day and it doesn't have to do with bad luck or anything because nothing has happened on the 13th of a Friday before for me to think it's bad luck. I don't let the hubby fly on a Friday the 13th. There were several times he had to fly for Business and I neither wanted him to fly on this day and he neither fly the night before or fly the following morning but never on Friday the 13th. I know it sounds silly but it's just me. I guess I'll need to work on why I have this fear with Friday the 13th. Who knows, something could have happened to me when I was a kid that I totally forgot about or watched the movie and freaked myself out so much now I'm just afraid of this day or I really got bad luck one time and then that's why I'm afraid of this day. I know it's just a day but it's not a day I like so maybe I'll just live with this day not liking it much. Me not liking Friday the 13th isn't hurting anyone except I won't let my family fly on this day and everything is fine in the Universe. Take care, Peace!!!

Lets talk!

Okay, I know I've already said I have an Eating Disorder and even wrote some posts about it. I think for me it's a part of me. I feel I'm in a good place where I'm doing the right thing keeping a good rain on this disease but it's easy to fall back into old habits. It's a drag sometimes like when you're hungry and the right thing to do is go get yourself something to eat right? Well for someone like myself I have to force myself to eat something like it's this struggle in my head to just get something to eat. Come on, it's that easy to just eat something and it's not that hard or a big deal. I realized my eating disorder wasn't to be thin but it was a bonus. For me it was to feel like I had some form of control of my life even though I wasn't in control of anything but torture and destruction but I didn't know that while I was involved in my head. I call my eating disorder a head disease but it's a struggle between good and evil of the brain. Your brain is telling you how worthless you are if you cave in and eat something like you're a loser or something. Then the good part of your brain is telling you to fight the evil part. It's a constant struggle which is exhausting and so messed up. There isn't anywhere for you to go because you can't leave yourself. It's that nagging voice in the back of your brain telling you what to do or not do. It's so time consuming nothing around you really matters even though everyone else matters but you don't know what to do about it. It's not like you want share your struggle with people because it's embarrassing to give your control away then there is nothing for you to feel like you have some control. It's a messed up disease and so backward thinking. It gets confusing and sometimes you don't know if you're coming or going. I don't know if I was discreet about my eating disorder. I started eating for comfort when I was 12 and 13. When I was 15 I learned I could eat and then purge called Bulimia. I was a bulimic for along time off and on through out my young adulthood. I then started becoming an anorexic and bulimic in my late twenties. Those days were torture and the pain in my soul just tore me up. My ED(eating disorder for short) was my secret and if someone would have confronted me during the darkest moments I would have denied denied and denied I had a problem. I was fortunate no one ever confronted me if I had a problem. I know having talked with the hubby he knew exacting what was going on but he didn't know how to get help for me. This is also a sore spot for me about the guilt you have and with me I feel guilty for putting my hubby through hell and I'm sure I wasn't easy to live with. Having an eating disorder is a selfish disease. It's selfish because it's all about you and yes, you have relationships but everything revolves around you and what you can handle. You are aware what you are doing to your body and no one can tell you any different when you are in your ED head. Everyone else has the problem and what you are doing is okay because it's just delusional what you are thinking. ED affects everyone in your life some directly and indirectly because ED can kill you so that affects everyone who loves you. It's selfish and I learned this from my group therapy which in turn made me feel even more guilty. I don't know how you would confront someone if you believe they have an eating disorder. I guess you would need to get a Doctor's advice. I gave myself my own intervention and got help on my own because I was tired and I needed a kick in my ass. It did take me getting pregnant with my daughter to be full aware of what I was doing to myself. It wasn't about me anymore. I had someone else to care for. It was a real wake up call. I wouldn't recommend to get pregnant. I was one of the lucky one's who got it after children. Some people are not so lucky. With any addiction disease the person needs to help themselves. The only person who can help you is yourself. My ED is still painful for me. I somethings feel like I'm losing my battle with this disease but I just have to look in my children's eyes and know why staying on the right path is important for me. My downfall will be from something else than me dying from my eating disorder. I don't want ED to be what I am about. I don't want people to associate me with how hard I struggled with an Eating Disorder. I'm better than that. I want to be known I did the best I could to be a hands on parent who did everything she could for her family. I would much rather be known as a fighter for the right reasons then the wrong reason called selfishness. I asked for help and I'm a better person for it. Thank you all!!!! Take care, Peace!!!!!

It's a new thing I'm into!!!!

Last night I was going to be good and go to bed early but then the hubby was fixing his computer so we could watch our You Tube video's up on the TV instead of on our laptops. Then a video came up and we watched it. I laughed my ass off. This guy was so funny. His name is Philip DeFranco and he is the 23 year old host of the Philip DeFranco Show. The show has accrued over, 130 million views, and maintains the best audience EVER! The show is DeFranco’s soapbox to talk about everything and anything that interests Philip DeFranco. His website phillyd.tv has more videos so go check him out. It's not like I meant to stumble on this guys work. I was going to be responsible and go to bed early but this video was presented to us on our huge TV so I had to watch it. After we watched this video we had to watch more. So going to bed early just went out the door. We were hooked. The dude is funny. It's like he's on speed and I don't think he is but the way he talks so fast and goes from one topic to the next is just too funny. What is a SAHM supposed to do? I'm taking a break from Jon and Kate plus 8. I enjoy the discussions but I just need something new at the moment. I'm tired of Gosselin's Without Pity AKA GWOP with their harassing Pastor's and bitching about exploitation when in fact they are screwed up people who need to get some therapy. I have no problem with Jon and Kate Gosselin and I like watching their show but I just need a break from all the snarking for awhile. I enjoyed my time writing my opinion on GWOP's counter blog Gosselin's do not need our Pity and the women there were more level headed. Plus if I tried to write an opinion on GWOP it won't go through because they are one sided which if you hate The Gosselin's your comments get through. You got it!!! So it just happens I found this dude and I'll check out his career more often from now on. This guy I think is a genus and the stuff he comes up with making fun of what's happening in the moment is just Brilliant!!!! Well the last thing I'm getting into is the show called The Doctor's. It's my new Dr. Phil. It's a panel of Doctor's taking about medical stuff. My bff told me about it and how she likes this show so yesterday it happened I put the kids down early and I just happened to check out what was on TV and it was coming on after the Bonnie Hunt show so because I trust my bff in great entertainment I decided to check it out. I think I'm hooked on this new show also. So much change and new interests. I have to spice it up once in awhile so things don't get boring. Jon and Kate plus 8 isn't going anywhere soon so I'll lurk and read but I won't be as involved as I was the last few months. I made my blog with Adult Content protection and I think it's a good idea for I do have adult content on here at times. Take care, Peace!!!!

Why no names here?

When I started this blog I decided to not put personal pictures of my children on here or who my family is with names etc... It's nice I have strangers who come to read my blog and I enjoy writing my thoughts but I do need to protect my family and who they are. I would love to share photos of my children because to me they are dang cute but they are my children. I see all the time crazy people out there on the Internet who have no self control who will harass and stalk you because they are just mentally unstable. No one needs to see pictures of my children unless you are my personal friend. Sorry I will never post pictures of my kids on my blog. I don't mind sharing my personal thoughts but I'm very protective of my kids due to my personal upbringing and it's a shame to feel you have to do something as being self aware of who sees photos of your children. Take care, Peace!!!