Hi, it's just me...don't be so disappointed!!!

Happy American Thanksgiving.  I say American because I'm not American...my kids and husband are but not me...I'm from the Great North Canada.  I love my Country and us, Canadians celebrate Thanksgiving in October. Very nice!!! So yes, I celebrate twice...life is great like that!!

So be proud and thankful on this generous day that you have riches even if you have nothing. Happy Thanksgiving!! If anyone cares, it's like a month to Christmas!! Enjoy this Holiday because tomorrow is beyond Crazy here in the USA with their Black Friday. I pay full price just to stay away from stores on Friday the day after Thanksgiving. It's a mad world out there...be safe, don't drink and drive and peace on earth even though it will never happy but it's worth praying for. Much Love, Me!!

Eye of a Hurricane!

I prayed I would go see a Chris Tomlin concert. In December 2010 I found out Chris was coming to Portland. I was going to be there but the day my husband and I were going to buy his concert tickets the concert was sold out.  My heart hurt a little and going to Seattle which was his last city on his tour wasn't an option. I thought maybe next time and my dream to see him in concert would have to wait for another time.


Later that day I got an email saying Chris Tomlin was adding another concert in Portland for April 14th. We bought the tickets right then. Pinch me, I was one step closer to seeing Chris Tomlin. Why Chris Tomlin? His music inspires me and his songs brings me closer to Jesus.


The hurricane of my health troubles started on March 17, 2011. I fought hard to get up on my feet. I struggled and I prayed. This concert meant so much to me. I knew I had to be there. I knew it would change my life. It was like desperation and the very need to be there was pushing me to move forward. 


The day I was admitted for the third time into the Hospital I realized this time was a little more serious then the last two times in the hospital.  I still kept my faith in 10 days I'll be enjoying my time listening to Chris Tomlin....I prayed because it didn't look promising.


So I had a Lung Tap, I had a blood Transfusion and oh right, I also had lung surgery all in a 5 day period. After surgery I calculated in my head I have 3 or 4 days with tubes sticking out of my body and I need to get off my IV pain medication. I needed to be discharged neither Wednesday or Thursday morning. Monday before the concert I got my tubes taken out and the IV pain medication went away on Tuesday and by Wednesday I was allowed to go home which meant I was going to the concert Thursday Night!! 


Thursday Night I was listening to Chris Tomlin. I was present and soaking it all in. Who knew less than a week earlier I was in a surgery room getting my lung operated on due too an empyema pleural effusion in my right lung. I heard there were 5 other people who had the same thing I had and I was the lucky one who survived. 


Even though I was still having problems breathing I sang my heart out. It felt so right and I was amazed I was actually there like it was a dream. I saw Chris Tomlin in concert. Those words I can't believe I said it. I was listening to Chris Tomlin in concert watching him and listening to him sing his beautiful songs. It was a miracle I was there when a week before I was told by my pulmonologist I would need lung surgery. 


My prayers were answered and dreams really do come true. This was my eye of the hurricane because a few days later I was back on another journey of more medical problems that lasted for along time. 


I needed this break and this special moment. It would push me through the very hard days, during my endless nights of depression and the sadness within my heart. It got me through my trials of pain and when I wanted to give up I would remember how I felt during the concert and it kept me moving along.


Today is near the end of September and I'm slowly learning to live again and the hurricane slowly gone with a lot of damage left behind. I will rebuild my life. I will get my heart right again and my season of depression will be a thing of the past because God is Good!!


I will remember the eye of the storm and what a blessing it had on my life. I'll never forget!

These scars got me on the road to see Chris Tomlin in concert. They may be ugly scars but to me they are my blessings and without them I would never have made it to April 14, 2011. Take care, Peace!


http://www.christomlin.com/

Fun new toys!

I got an iPhone. I'm mobile!!! Have a great 2011!! Take care, Peace!!!

The Cross which speaks my name!!

My husband wanted to buy me a cross awhile ago and I told him when I was ready I would get one. I wouldn't call myself having a conventional definition for my faith. I'm very spiritual even before I started my journey with Christ. I just didn't want to get a Cross to have a Cross. I wanted it to have meaning not only for Jesus sacrificing his life for us but also meaning for me spiritually so I personally will remember Gods love. I need a connection like a testimony to my faith in which I can relate too!!

I'm not here to demand everyone has to be religious or have some form of religion because it's personal to the individual. I don't want religion pushed on me so I'm not going to push it on you. I just want to explain my journey on how I found my cross.

I shared with you a poem close to my heart called Footprints in the Sand GO HERE. (Sorry about the non edited version. I don't know what happened to my blog but time is busy and I haven't gotten around to fix this blog.)

Anyway, This Poem has great meaning to me. Especially when I thought God had forsaken me. I was broken and had lost my faith on many of occasions.....too many to count!!  But I always found my way back to this poem like it was speaking to my soul and my heart that I wasn't alone and God was carrying me. Reading footprint's in the Sand the last sentence "it was then that I carried you" is engraved on the back of my cross. On the front are footprints. I know it's not the traditional cross but when I saw this cross in the store I knew this was my cross.

It's like God was communicating with me the only way he knew I would understand his message. I know this poem isn't out of the bible. I know a women wrote this poem but the message of God's love affected my life in ways I can't express. Times in my life I did forget the message but now........I proudly wear my cross around my neck so I will never forget his message of his love for me. I am blessed in so many ways even when I don't really understand why? Take care, Peace!!

What? It's been two years!!

So cool for me to celebrate this blogs two year anniversary but unfortunately it was yesterday.  I must get on top of these things. I can't believe I forgot my two year anniversary!!  It couldn't be all that special if I even forgot...ha ha!! So I've been writing this blog for two years...yeah me!! What? I didn't think my attention span lasted that long. I must like being all full of myself to keep writing......about myself :)

Well, it's been great. I don't know what the next year will hold but finding out will be cool seeing how I don't plan ahead. I can't wait!! Well I got things to do!!! Time to party!! I can't believe I had the distance to write this long...I kinda get bored after awhile. Whoo Hoo!! Cheers!! Take care, Peace!!

Happy Birthday!!

My daughter is 5 years old day. I can't believe it and I'm reminded how special she is every single day even on those days where she tests my patience. I just want to teach her love is what drives us to be better people. I always remind her she is my special girl, a gift from GOD. She really inspires me. The way she came into this world a healthy tiny little thing with spunk and her birth showed me that life really is great. I was in a bad place when I found out I was pregnant with her. My diabetes was out of control and I didn't want the desire to change it. I was in full swing with my eating disorder and I was really not ready, mind, body and soul ready to have a baby. It's too different things to want to have a baby and actually be ready to have a baby. I wanted a baby but wasn't ready. Yes, it was a huge surpise when I found out I was pregnant. I fought hard for her during the pregnancy so she would have a fighting chance. She was perfect in every way and I truly believe she was meant for me at a time where I needed her birth to realize life is more greater than myself. She's a miracle and a blessing. I always said she choose us to be her parents and her little brother choose her to be his big sister. Happy 5th Birthday my little girl. You are truly my gift from God. I thank you!! Take care, Peace!!

Alcoholism!!!

It took me to stop drinking alcohol by fracturing my left arm tripping over a bench. That's right, I broke my arm tripping over a bench. That's me!! I was at my husbands work holiday function in January 2003 and had a few drinks and went outside to have a smoke. I didn't see the bench until it was too late with me lying on the cold ground. I was embarrassed and ashamed because I try to keep myself self composed out in public especially when it came to my husbands work related functions. I don't really want to be known as that girl. You know who I'm talking about. That one person who drinks a little too much at parties and makes a complete ass out of themselves well for me I was that girl for that night but at least, there were only a few people outside when I did it but still I humiliated myself. So I quit drinking. I decided in my heart I really can't just have one drink. I wish I could have one drink like a normal person. I didn't need an intervention or a 12 step program to stop drinking. I just made the hard decision to not have that one drink. For me that one drink leads to another and another until I become drunk. Like I used to say "I'm not drunk, I'm just buzzin'". For me it was an excuse thinking I could handle just having one more. When I quit drinking I thought it would hard to be around other people who were drinking but really it didn't bother me. I was an adult and new just because I CHOOSE to not drink doesn't mean they couldn't. I came to realize living dry as I put it made me look closer to my inner self. I really didn't like myself when I drank. I've done things which broke my own inner heart and for along time it ate me up inside. I couldn't forgive myself for what I did when I drank. I love the social part of drinking, going to bars, hanging with my friends and having a good time but it always got overshadowed by the stupid shit I used to do after I was drunk. For me, I was never the serial free love kind of girl or didn't want to be. I just didn't want to give myself to any guy who gave me the slightest attention but you know what? I was that girl who just gave it up when I was over the limit of alcohol and my guard was down, my morals and values were out the door to the point of no return. That's what alcohol did to me. My moral compass got shot after I had too many drinks and I had fun without no consequences. It was what it was. Stupid!!! I also became a serial cheater on my hubby when we weren't married yet. I justified cheating on I was lonely and our relationship was long distance but really I didn't have proper judgement when I was drinking. Nope, no good judgment. I'm not a serial cheater in my heart but I became one. I became someone I didn't want to be. Why would I cheat on someone I loved who I wanted to be with? I don't have the answer because it got clouded by alcohol. If I wasn't an alcoholic back then I wouldn't have cheated and that's fact. I never slept with someone when I was sober and the relationship I had with my husband's best friend wasn't a sexual relationship and yes, I cheated emotionally and sometimes some people find that harder to forgive then just cheating by one night stands of pure lustful sex. Cheating is cheating when you're not fully with your significant other and like I said, my husband forgave me for that. Some of the guys I don't regret sleeping with. Some of them were friends like you would call with benefits, the booty call kind of way. I cared for some of them and it was what it was. Now, most of them I could just forget about. I could pass this time in my life where I was just experimenting but I was in a relationship and it doesn't make it right. I really had two major relationships in my life. The first one I was in for 7.5 years which didn't work out because of abuse and it wasn't that great and my relationship with my hubby. I love my hubby and I'm glad he never gave up on me even when I told him the truth. For me to get better I had to let him know what happened. I couldn't go on being with him based on a lie. I could never heal my heart and be the better person who I believed I wanted to be if I didn't tell him of the cheating. For me, I couldn't be with him knowing I had this secret. A secret of infidelity he should know about before we got married. It took time and I worked my butt off to make him understand I loved him and wanted to be with only him. That's why I believe in my marriage vows so much and I truly believe them and it's why I'm still embarrassed of the things I did when I was drunk. I will never cheat on him. I couldn't, and wouldn't put myself in a situation where their is temptation to do so. That part of my life is over and I understand the ramifications of the consequences of the affects of cheating. I don't ever want to re-live that part of my life again. Now I'm slowly healing my heart, healing that part of my soul I destroyed by drinking. I went into a depression after I came to realize I don't want that life. Why would I allow myself to self destruct like that? Lots of factors on self destruction but one thing I could change was to stop drinking. I had the choice to at least, do that! I really don't want to be that person. Drinking for me only leads to unwanted drama neither I was causing it or someone else. It's really not worth it. Now yes, I have had alcohol since then but it's been more in a controlled environment. My hubby and I drink wine at night together but not in access to the point I can't function. I'm also not drinking to hide and run away from my inner demons anymore. I still believe I'm an alcoholic but at least I know I have a limit and I'm aware I just can't have that one drink!! Take care, Peace!!

He reads this blog!!!

I was very surprised when my hubby told me he read my blog. I was looking at my sitmeter the other day and once in awhile my sitmeter doesn't block my own cookies and when I'm working on this blog it will log myself as a visitor. When this happens I have to destroy the cookie and get another one to block and I'm all fine again so here I was sitting there like come on, not again so here I was talking to the hubby about my frustration and he told me he reads my blog. I think I was in shock. I have to admit I was really surprised and more like that's cool. It makes me happy he comes here for a read. I don't know why he wouldn't but we talk all the time so it didn't occur to me he would come here and read what I wrote. He's been really supportive of this blog and knows all the hard topics I have talked about like I said if anyone wants to know more about me just read this blog so maybe he's likes to know what's in my head at times. It just makes me feel like our marriage is going to last for eternity and I may not thank him all the time but he really gets me and I don't feel like I have to be someone I'm not. He loves me for who I am the good, bad and the ugly. I enjoy writing and I enjoy the process because most of the time I don't know what to write about so I pick something in my head and I go with it. Whatever comes out I write and most of the time I'll re-read what I wrote and add more stuff but I haven't deleted anything because I have this blog as adult content so I feel good enough to let it be. My writing is my thoughts at the time and I've gone back to read some of the stuff I wrote and I even can't believe I pressed the send button on some of that stuff. It's like why on heaven's earth did I allow myself to write about that or maybe I should have wrote more about that topic. I can even surprise myself at times how far I allow myself to go. I don't get much visitor's and I'm sure I could do something about that but I don't. I'm not here to be popular but I'm pleased for the people who do come here and read what I have to say. Some of the entries I have on particular people like Joe Flanigan gets good hits. Ha!! Who can blame people, the guy is hot. My obsession of the guy is funny. I have a story about him but I'm not going to talk about it. Karma bit me in the butt about that one so I'll keep it between me and my hubby. That's my secret I only shared with only a select few. It's nothing illegal so nothing to worry about. I'm just smarter than I believe to be and I haven't figured out if that's a good thing or not. So I'm actually happy my hubby wants to know what I write and supports me on this. Thanks so much the best hubby in the world. I want to do you proud. Take care, Peace!!!

Remembrance Day!

Remembrance Day a Canadian Holiday and is a day to commemorate the sacrifices of members of the armed forces and of civilians in times of war. (also known as Poppy Day, Armistice Day or Veterans Day) In Flanders Fields In Flanders fields the poppies blow Between the crosses, row on row, That mark our place; and in the sky The larks, still bravely singing, fly Scarce heard amid the guns below. We are the dead. Short days ago We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow, Loved, and were loved, and now we lie In Flanders fields. Take up our quarrel with the foe: To you from failing hands we throw The torch; be yours to hold it high. If ye break faith with us who die We shall not sleep, though poppies grow In Flanders fields. — Lt.-Col. John McCrae A Canadian physician and Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae wrote it on May 3, 1915 during the First World War. Flanders is a geographical region located in parts of present day Belgium, France, and the Netherlands. The poppies referred to in the poem grew in profusion in Flanders where war casualties had been buried and thus became a symbol of Remembrance Day. I will always remember you this day November 11th. Thank you and God bless!

Music!

I would like to talk about how much music has impacted my life. I love singing and I don't think I'm all that good but to me music gives me hope. During the lowest times in my life I've turned to music to comfort me. I like all kinds of music but my favorite songs that stand out in my quest for peace is: Celine Dion - I'm alive Because you loved me Mariah Carey - Hero Pretenders - I'll Stand by you Bon Jovi - It's my Life Brandy - Have you ever? These are a few I listen to and I have so many like songs from Chicago, Aerosmith, Journey and I could go on and on oh another favorite singer is Whitney Houston in her old days. If I'm having a hard time or having a moment of inspiration with life moments most likely music has been apart of my healing process. Every favorite song I have has some meaning to me and most of them have a memory that goes along with each song which could be a person who impacted my life, a place where I remember something special happened or just because I like the song and can sing it. I have songs where I listen to just to cry or songs when I'm losing prospective on my goals and I listen to songs to give me a reality check. I can listen to music because it never judges and is always is there whenever you need something to lift you up. I will talk about this one song I love which is inspiring and makes me cry at times and I can sing it so it's all around a good song. It's one song on the top of my list of ever lasting lists I have. It's the Pretenders song "I'll Stand by You". Here are a break down of some of the lyrics to this song: Oh, why you look so sad? Tears are in your eyes Come on and come to me now Don't be ashamed to cry Let me see you through' cause I've seen the dark side too When the night falls on you You don't know what to do Nothing you confess Could make me love you less This part is a matter of hope for me like it was looking into my heart and trying to lift me up. I seen many dark sides of life and in this song someone else seen it too. I had many times of sadness in my life when I was younger I had nights of crying because that's all my heart could do and some nights wondering when my wishes would come true. I felt I had no where to go and I was stuck in a life I knew I needed someone to protect me and save me. So if you're mad, get mad Don't hold it all inside Come on and talk to me Hey, what you got to hide? I get angry too Well I'm a lot like you This part of the song reminds me of many nights when I was so angry with life. I was walking down a path of destruction and in this time in my life I stopped caring. You know you are in trouble when you lose all hope and don't care where your life goes or what path you take. It's a lonely place to be. When you're standing at the crossroads And don't know which path to choose Let me come along' cause even if you're wrong I'll stand by you I had a lot of wonderful people what this symbolizes to me. Gave me hope to move forward in my journey of life. They didn't give up on me when I needed some hope and love. I was broken and no matter what decisions I made for my life they backed me up and didn't judge me. This Song is so powerful to me and every time I listen to "I'll Stand by You" it reminds of how far I've come. All my lessons, my pain, my will to fight to survive and the journey was a rocky one but I made it over the rainbow.

Their is another song I'm going to talk about is Brandy's "Have you ever?" It's a song a lot of people can relate to. I know I'm secure in my marriage so talking about another man once in my life is not a big deal. My husband and I talked about this one person before. I guess you are wondering why I could bring this up because we are all human and we had lives before our marriages. Life isn't easy and marriage is hard work. I work on mine every single day. My life with my husband is important to me but I also had a lot of heartache for another man before I got married. This is the song for when I got my heart broken from this guy who didn't care for me back. This was a hard time for me and it took me along time to get over him. Damn you, JS..okay I'm just being silly now. JS was a thorn in my heart but I'm over him because I get so much more love from my husband. I love you so much! My BFF will know who I am referring to here or if not I'll mention his name you'll remember okay back to this again. Here is some of the lyrics to "Have your ever?"

Have you ever been in love? Been in love so bad You’d do anything to make them understand Have you ever had someone steal your heart away? You’d give anything to make them feel the same Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart? Have you finally found the one you’ve given your heart to? Only to find that one won’t give their heart to you Have you ever closed your eyes and Dreamed that they were there And all you can do is wait for that day when they will care

This definitely doesn't refer to my husband but I know everyone can relate to this song and I'm sure we all experienced someone like this in your life. It's okay to pine once in awhile for old flames because it's apart of your history and it's not shameful to remember people who hurt you like this. It's apart of life but what you do after is the most important. It's okay to feel hurt by these people and sometimes some of these memories are good to keep close to remember why you love your partners so much. It's good to remember your trying times of heartache and pain and when it began. Not everyone will care for you the way you want them too. It just makes what you have with your partners even special knowing you love and care so much for someone who gives you back the same love. Something is special in that.

So music is special to me and has a place in my heart when I need some inspiration from where I've been to where I want to go in life. Sharing what means to me I hope will make you think what music inspires you. Peace.

Footprints in the Sand

Footprints in the Sand One night I had a dream -- I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord, and Across the sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand; One belonged to me, and the other to the Lord. When the last scene of my life flashed before us, I looked back at the footprints in the sand. I noticed that many times along the path of my life, There was only one set of footprints. I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in my life This really bothered me, and I questioned the Lord about it. "Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, You would walk with me all the way; But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, There is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why in times when I needed you the most, you should leave me. The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child. I love you, and I would never, never leave you during your times of trial and suffering. When you saw only one set of footprints, It was then that I carried you." by Mary Stevenson I love this poem and it got me through a lot of hard times. I want to thank my family who I may not be related by blood or through adotion but they are my family. They were there for me when I needed a real family to love me. They never judged, held my hand and got me though my struggles when my adopted family abandoned me. They are more a family to me than my own family is. They didn't leave me when the going got tough. I love them with all my heart. Thanks so much for your love and support.

A hard path to take!

This topic is going to be a hard one. I would like to share how my children came into this world. You are thinking, we all know how babies are born but I'm talking about the emotional part I had to go through to have two beautiful healthy babies and what I went through to achieve them and both were being miracles from GOD. I will start with A. My husband and I were not expecting this pregnancy. I just made an appointment with a diabetic educator to get my diabetes under control so I would be healthy to be pregnant. I was going through a lot of emotional turmoil in the Summer of 2004. I was having a hard time dealing with a death near and dear to my heart. I was deep in an ever lasting fight with an eating disorder. My mother and I didn't have a relationship and didn't talk for 8 months and dealing with life was hard for me. First when I was late for the monthly friend I thought it was just about stress and didn't think about it but then another week went by and no friend so one night we went to Walgreen's at 12:30am to buy a pregnancy test. The first test came out positive. We didn't believe it so we did the second test and that one came out positive. We thought we'll wait and do the third one in the morning. Test three was done first thing in the morning and sure enough the test was positive. I think we were in shock and excited at the same time. We were ready in our marriage to have children so it was a blessing. Then the reality sank in and went to the lab to get it verified. Yes, I was indeed pregnant. I had my first Doctor's appointment. I was in shock, a blur and scared to death. First off I was considered a high risk pregnancy because I was a diabetic but then factoring an eating disorder on top of it and a high chance this fetus wouldn't grow to be healthy because of the out of control diabetes. I was put on a hard reality check. What ever my RN asked of me I did. She said jump and I asked how high. In a matter of 3 weeks my diabetes went down in numbers where the baby would be safe from complications. Then all the appointments on a weekly basis I had to do. My weekly schedule: Pregnancy appointment Pregnancy councilor Group therapy Psychologist appointment ( every 3 weeks) phone appointment for blood sugar results I was being taken care of really well by all the medical staff who took me under their wings to make sure I was healthy and on top of that our daughter being healthy. It was a hard road I knew I had to do. It wasn't about me anymore and I needed to know I was doing all I could do to protect this child I was carrying. I had the hardest time with eating and gaining weight. I went from one meal a day to having to eat 7 times during the day. Their were days where I would be crying when I ate. Each bite meant more weight gain but I did it for this child. Each Ultra sound was stressful. I was scared they would give me bad news but once I saw her and she was fine I was relieved. On my 36th Ultra sound appointment our daughter stopped growing. Doctor's think I couldn't handle being pregnant any longer and started taking back the nutrients from the baby. It was time to deliver this tiny little girl. My husband and I were prepared she would be going to the NICU after her birth because she was 5 pounds and some and early by 3 weeks. By c-section she was born March 25, 2005 at 10:39pm on Good Friday small and healthy weighting in 5lbs, 5oz. No trip to the NICU and no extra testing and she was ours. We took her home 3 days later. All the odds were against us to have a healthy baby but I did it with the help of others. It was a hard long road emotionally and physically but I did it and she's fine doing her milestones early. I am so proud of her our gift from Heaven. J was planned. We had to get permission to try with baby two. I had tests done and got the thumbs up. First month didn't stick and then by September we got the news we were expecting. By one month I was having really bad morning sickness. Smells were driving me crazy and this should have been a sign what to come next. A , told us we were having a boy like I didn't think a 18 month old could say boy :) By the end of November I wasn't gaining any weight and actually losing weight. The baby was doing fine and growing so no one was worried about him but I was another story. I had my monthly tests done and I was told I was severely anemic. What this would do to me I didn't know. I was scheduled to see a Hematologist to find out what to do. I was put on a drug called Procrit get some help for home and try to relax. When a RN you trust with your life is telling you she is worried what do you do but PANIC. I was scared for my family and of course, you think about death and all the possibilities. It was hard telling the one's I love what was happening and it's like giving them my death sentence. I had to come to terms my husband and I may have to end this life inside of me, a baby I fell in love with already. It was an emotional time I had to face head on.

I was put in the pregnancy hypertensive program showing signs of beginning preclamcia. We got help and was very appreciated. We were told what our options were and the possibility we may have to abort this child before 24 weeks and to prepare for it. I didn't want to think about it but they will do whatever they could so it wouldn't end up like that. Anyone women who had an Abortion before it's not an easy decision to make and a painful emotional situation. I think I had an Ultra sound every few weeks. More appointments and more tests. I was scared for me and this child I was carrying. I was scared for our daughter and my husband. We, as a family were dealing with this together. My husband was a rock when I needed a shoulder to cry on or just needed him to rub my back. I was so tired and so sick. My RN who took care of me had milestones for me. Lets get to 24 weeks she said, and then 28 weeks then 32, 34 and last 36 weeks. They didn't think I would make it until 28 weeks but I did. At 28 weeks I was scheduled for a c-section for April 24, 2007. This was my date I had to make it too. I didn't think sometimes I would get to this date. At the end of February I was hospitalized with walking Pneumonia for a week stay. First they thought I had a blood clot in my left lung. It was traumatic. J inside was doing his part. He moved all the time 24/7 letting me know he was doing fine and he was safe for 3 months before his birth. Our son was born 2 days shy of 37 weeks on April 24, 2007 weighing in 6lbs, 10 oz at 10:08am and healthy. No NICU visit and with some Jaundice we took him home 3 days later. We were a family of 3 to a family of 4 and our family was complete. All done, a girl and a boy.

A month later I had my first bone marrow biopsy and then 3 weeks later another one. J was anemic for a few months and we gave him iron drops and he's a healthy 16 months old. We were blessed.

The road to get these two babies was hard, scary and emotionally draining for me. I always give thanks for these two miracles everyday. My health hasn't been good since being diagnosed with anemia but I'm dealing with it. At times I'm really frustrated but you keep going forward one day at a time. This hard road was worth it. Thank you!