When Life Stops!

I truly understand how my Hubs must of felt when his world stopped when I got Pneumonia almost two years ago and I was in and out of the Hospital.

Yesterday was my turn. I woke up like I always did and my hubs was home telling me we needed to go to the Emergency Room. His whole left side was numb, his upper back hurt and various other symptoms. I was upset he didn't wake me up sooner. I slept in until 10:30 am and he took the kids to school at 8:25 am. I was not pleased he waited that long because I was thinking blood clot or stroke.

We got to the Emergency Room checked in and I told him to call his Mother and let her know and she would have to pick the kids up after school and take care of them until we got any news back. When they took his vitals his blood pressure was high and that worried me.

When they called him back it took awhile until we saw the Doctor and when he did finally come to see my Hubs he decided to order a Chest X-ray, blood tests, an MRI and the ER Doctor wanted to consult the Stroke Team. Heart Problems is high in my Hubs family Medical History. It scared me and I tried keeping it together.

So during various trips to get food or a drink I kept reports going on Facebook and I texted his Pastor. I haven't gone through something so scary before. He's the love of my life, he's my Rock, he's everything to me and I'm waiting for bad news, I'm preparing for the worst and what I'll be facing. I can do this, I can be his Rock now. I needed Jesus to get me through this. I need him to carry me through this so I can be there for my Hubs. I had to be strong for him because he did it for me. Life may get hard and I was preparing for that. I will be strong.

After 5 hrs and a bunch of tests later he will not be dying anytime soon but he will need to see his Primary Doctor for more tests to find the cause for his numbness. He didn't have a Stroke, he didn't have any blood Clots and his Heart is Healthy, his Lungs were Healthy and his blood work came out really good. Thank you Jesus. I can breath now. Take care Peace!

It's just how it is!!

No matter how hard I try to live a healthy lifestyle I have to realize I have underlining medical issues ever so often I land my sick butt in the Emergency Room. Yesterday was one of those days and my arms from my pneumonia last year had wrecked havoc to my veins in my arms so it's hard for the RN's to find any good veins to hook me up to an IV. Let's just say I tried not to tell the RN off but I was good and just smiled even though I was screaming inside.

Yesterday's trip wasn't too serious but it was enough I needed some tweaking to get me back up on my feet. After a few hours and some orange juice later I was sent on my merry way with good health and some drugs. The good part of the trip was my anemia is back to before pneumonia and almost anemic free. I say high five because I've been working on getting my red blood cells back up to where I can function during the day for over a year and it was hard work.

This time around my body rejected medications and turned my body inside out and I was back onto a vomit schedule I couldn't control. Lets just say my body freaks out on me when it doesn't agree to what I'm giving it. I find it's cool my body doesn't like prescription drugs but it's not cool when it goes so out of whack I'm going to the Emergency Room.

I've been balancing my diabeties, anemia, and Orthostatic hypotension by vitamins and diet. It's been helping me get back to where life is doing good. I just have to figure out how to keep myself out of the emergency room but that's a balancing act I'm going to have to figure out in time. Cheers to good looking male RN's...Take care, Peace!!!

2011 year of sickness!!

Back in March my family got sick. First my son, then my husband and then my daughter. I was kinda lucky because I'm usually the first to go down with sickness. My immune system sucks and if someone sneezes on me I usually get sick and that's how bad I am. I'm surprised I'm not a germaphobe and maybe I should be.

A couple of days after my daughter had the flu I started feeling under the weather. My husband had to work from home because I couldn't get myself out of bed. I finally convinced myself to see a Doctor because something wasn't quite right and I new it so there I was in Urgent Care on a nice Saturday afternoon being seem by a Doctor. Nothing the Doctor could do for me but give me some prescriptions for comfort and sent me on my merry way.

The following day I woke up for Church and I couldn't get out of bed. I felt like someone was stabbing me in my back. Later that day I made my husband call the advice nurse of what I can do and from the symptoms I was experiencing she told me to go to the Emergency Room.

That Sunday night I was admitted for dehydration with  Influenza B. I stayed in the Hospital for 3 days. 9 days later I was admitted back into the Hospital for Bacterial Pneumonia and I stayed for 3 days. 2 days later I was back into the Hospital because the pneumonia got worse and this time I had a blood transfusion and lung surgery after a 10 day stay. 2 weeks later I was back into the Hospital for another 9 days.  Total of 25 days in the Hospital from March 20th to May 7th.

Since then I've been in and out of Urgent Care or the Emergency room for various problems several times. This last time on my way home from my vacation the RN had a hard time finding any good veins in my arms to use for the IV's because I've had so many IV's in my arms they can't take anymore abuse.

I'm not complaining because I know friends and family members who have gone through much worse then me. They are the one's who I think about when I'm dealing with my own medical problems. It gives me understanding that no matter how bad it is for me someone in this world is going through something worse. I'm just getting tired and hopefully someone in the medical profession can figure out what is wrong with me and why I have so many medical problems.

So I decided I'm going to be a germaphobe and if you see someone walking down the road in a hazmat suit with two little kids in tow then that's me. Have a nice day!!

Life is slowly moving!

A week can make a girl feel special and my family vacation did just that. I guess I needed to be in the middle of no where in a tent for a few days to unwind and relax with the family. The kids were great in the car drive seeing how we were all cramped in a full car packed with everything we could need to go camping in our Grand Prix which by the way my husband and I realized we out grew our car on this trip. Someone will be researching SUV's soon which means that's me. Our 5 hour car ride was great. Buying one of those portable DVD players was a great investment and we had two happy kids and two happy parents. We left home at 5:30am so we could get to our campsite so we could relax and set up camp before it got too late.

We ended up buying all the gear for fishing. My 6 year old daughter loved fishing and caught a few. My 4 year old  fished for about 5 minutes and then he was done. He didn't last long and it was a joy to sit still, be quiet and just look at the beauty of nature. It was quite inspiring and peaceful. The kids had some moments but what kid doesn't and overall spending a quiet peaceful vacation is what we needed. The kids thought our tent was cool and didn't mind sleeping in sleeping bags. I was a human Popsicle the first night because it got so cold but after that we all were warm and it was nice. I wish we could have stayed longer but our beautiful daughter started school yesterday.

We left Sunday for our drive back home but not without some drama. I ended up getting sick like vomiting. About 2 hours in my Husband flagged over EMT's and I was driven to a Local Hospital in an ambulance. I was hooked up to IV's and I waited in the waiting room. Then I got worse with vomiting up blood. I was not in good shape. When I was finally called to an ER room I was hooked up to various machines, had various tests done, and after hours of tests and more tests, given drugs to make me feel better, the vomiting stopped and the Doctor told me to contact my own Doctor about my heart and he sent me on my merry way. In the meantime my husband and children stayed at a nearby Hotel for the Night because we were far from home. The kids loved the hotel stay and I got to go back in the morning and take a nice long hot shower before we took our journey home once again.

Tuesday arrived bright and early and we said goodbye to our first grader and I'm happy to say she will have a great school year of many possibilities. I did enjoy the house of peacefulness with only one child at home but when I went to pick up the daughter at the bus stop the loudness came back and life was normal again.

We had such a great family vacation in a few weeks we're going on a mini trip again to enjoy our family once again. We will be going to Forks, Washington this time. I just want to say I went to Forks and La Push. I may tell you if I met Edward and Bella Cullen's or meet any Vampires. That's funny!! I realized our family needs these kinda trips. We need going away from our daily lives to explore what life has to offer and it doesn't have to cost a lot of money. I got a lot out of life this past weekend. It was needed especially when life is hard with medical problems to just enjoy what's important and to me that's spending time with my family. It was nice seeing life through my kids eyes and the excitement of exploring something new with them.

My health is what it is and I just need the patience to endure until my body figures out how to function right. I made an appointment to see my Doctor next week and I'll be asking for a plan so I can get my life back to some normalcy.

This week I have great reason to celebrate and also mourn the 10th anniversary of 9/11. My Church is launching a book of 7 testimonies of life stories of people from our church. I can't wait and I'll be praying and thinking of the lives lost. Take care, Peace!! Jesus died for all Sin including yours!!

Change is Good or is it?

It's 9 in the morning and I'm having popcorn with my son. We're sitting here enjoying Dora the Explorer and having a bowl of salty buttery popcorn. It's quite satisfying. This is a good change. I can enjoy this.

Since my daughter started her school career I've been lagging behind in my own life endeavors. I have so much I want to do but it seems like the weeks are just flying by. My weekends are busy busy and I'm not complaining about that but I do need to just relax and maybe I should schedule it in between nap time and homework.

I'm not completely healthy so balancing my time and making sure I don't have a burn out is like juggling. It's a process and lately I'm not so good at it. I'm figuring out what works best for me. I'm not getting much sleep because I'm spreading my time between my family members which it doesn't give me enough time to get the allotted sleep I need to make it through my day. I know, and I need to figure this out before I land my butt in the ER again.

Which I'm in a panic now because as much as I'm working on my schedule to balance out my life so I don't neglect my own needs....... I'm coming down with a cold!!! I can handle a cold and that's taking medication and having the excuse to complain but my husband is going on another Business trip and he'll be gone for a week this time...leaves Sunday. I know I can get help taking care of the kids from my mother in law but still. I don't need to get sick like this. It's like okay, I'm going to get sick but the timing is a little off. Why couldn't I catch a cold after he gets back?

This is change I don't like. Change of rearranging my schedule to fit my lack of ability. I have a problem giving up a little of my power to control my own independence. It's like a fear of forgetting how to take care of ones self because you're so used to leaning and depending another person to survive.  It's been a few years where I had to lean onto my husband for support with the kids, the home, the medical difficulties, and my own pressures of giving up control. Now I'm feeling a little like I'm a failure. Yes, I go there. This is my moment of weakness.......

Honestly, I know what I'm capable of. I know what I can handle and what I can't. I know my own inner demons and I have choices.  I can choose to wallow in my own self pity or I will survive like I have always done. I will make an honest effort to weather the storm that comes my way. This cold of mine is nothing. I have to remember in the last 4 years of my hardest times where it was difficult to get the energy to feed my children. This is nothing compared to finding the strength to make it through the day afraid of passing out, afraid I wouldn't be here for my kids, my husband and not knowing why my system was failing me. So getting a cold is nothing compared to my most trying times. This is change I can live with. Knowing I made it through those days of not having the energy to survive and I did. I managed and I did it so I know I can manage to rearrange my life to get through this bump in the road.  This is nothing!! Take care, Peace!!

I forgot we own a Wii!!

The hubby and I pulled out the Wii Fit tonight. I was kinda scared seeing how I was told I didn't use it for 533 days. I had things to do so I can understand why I didn't use the thing. I gained 3.3 pounds since then and my BMI is Normal. My age was calculated at 37 which is good considering I'm 35 years old. Who needs two years anyway? My hubby and I decided we really need to get into shape. My goal is to be able to play sports with the kiddo's. I do want to get back into downhill skiing. I'll figure out how to pay for it when I get back into shape. I had some mean strong legs when I was younger but years of poor health, anemia I kinda have sticks for legs but I'll get them back. The kids of mine love doing leg squats with me and actually like doing what I'm doing. I love when the daughter keeps saying "I feel the burn mommy"

It's one of those things I keep putting off. I have goals and we did spend the big bucks for this Wii fit so we might as well start using it. I remember as a kid I loved sports and not to seem conceited or anything but I kicked ass with sports with natural talent expect for Tennis. I never really cared for the sport but I loved soccer and downhill skiing and swimming. I was a great swimmer. I want to show the kids that mommy can do this stuff instead of sitting on the sidelines. I feel good well not the health good but good I'm on the right path. I'm thinking good thoughts and I always finish what I start so yeah, for me!!! Enjoy life, stay positive and have a great time!! Take care, peace!!!