I'm raising a daughter who is a bully!!

It's so embarrassing. Why???? I was a sweet little girl when I was a kid so I want to believe and I am wondering why is my daughter a BULLY!!!!!!. Okay, my daughter is only a bully to her brother. I feel sorry for the son because he's so sensitive from the beginning and looks up to his sister like an angel and then the girl claws comes out at him and he gets his feelings hurt big time and I have to hear about it with a screaming boy in my ear. Oh my, sigh........ I have tried everything like take her favorite toy away, timeouts, going to bed early and nothing has worked. NOTHING is working!!!! HELP!!!!! WHAT IS A MOTHER TO DO? I don't know what to do about her abusing her little brother. She's so mean and jealous of him. It's been going on for a few weeks and it's been getting ugly like I feel like putting my hands up in the air and walking away or hide in my bedroom but that's not going to help anything. She won't tell me why she abuses her brother. She likes waking him up early in the morning or going into his room during nap time but any other time she treats him like a diseased infested scum ball. My poor little boy and now he thinks hitting is funny which he gets in trouble for and then he cries because he's always getting his feelings hurt. I tried separating them during the day. It seemed like our happy home is a war zone and I don't know how to change the struggle to our fun happy space we once had. Oh I miss those days...okay we really never had a fun happy home and it's all in my head but I can dream can I? My ears hurt and it's all about me, right? I need a solution because I don't want my daughter to be mean and hurtful to her little brother anymore. Oh the tears........Take care, Peace!!!! I need some advice so if you have any please leave a comment and I'll happily will listen.....Please!!!!

My broken laptop!!

Well I survived this past week. I feel like I'm in the land of the living. The hubby and I pulled off our daughters 4th birthday party on Saturday. We had a good time and I think she had a good birthday party. I'm sort of in a sad mode at the moment. My laptop is broken and I didn't think it would affect me so much but it's part of my life. How silly that sounds but all my stuff was on it, files, writings, kid pictures and all my online settings to websites. It was my life and now I'm on my hubby's laptop but it's not the same. Everything on my laptop was just at my fingertips. I hope my hubby will be able to fix my computer or be able to get everything off the hard drive. I may lose all my favorite websites but that's easy to find again but I'm sad about my pictures and files. I'm not computer savvy so I don't know about backup etc. My children's pictures from the last year were on them and most of them were from my son's life and he's not two yet so that's most of his life. I'm just praying the hubby can save my laptop. I miss my laptop and I'm acting like I'm a little kid but it was my laptop and my stuff and it made my life easier. I enjoy my laptop and could use it whenever I wanted with everything at my fingertips, Maybe I just needed computer intervention and this is it. Whatever the case, I feel lost :( Take care, Peace!!

Who wants to fire some Doctor's? ME!

For days I thought I was dying of the flu. All I could do was sleep spend some time with the Kids and sleep, check up on emails and sleep. This morning I woke up and was having a hard time breathing. I was thinking this seems a little like deja vu like 2 years ago when I was pregnant. I wasn't getting better but I will have to say my fever broke this morning so that was good. I had to go back to the Doctor again. This time I went to a different place and got a different diagnosis. I have Bronchitis. I got tested for the flu and I don't have it. Yeah!!!! I really enjoyed the respiratory therapy because I can breath. Respiratory therapy is the best...I highly recommend it. Take the respiratory therapy!!!At least this Doctor looked at my history and did some further testing before he made up his mind. You know the chest x-rays, blood tests, white cell count and the regular tests they run when you are sick. My blood pressure was really low and the Doctor and Nurses didn't know how I manged to arrive by myself. Okay I didn't and when I arrived I used the sick wheelchair. I had too because I was that dog done sick. My blood pressure was 74/46, but you know I live with this blood pressure on a regular basis so after awhile you learn to live around it. It's not a way of life I want but right now there is nothing I can do. I got my lovely IV drip with some pain medication. Another reason with a smile on my face. I'm in love with my new drugs and did I mention I love this new Doctor. He took some of my pain away. Love having less pain. Pain sucks and less pain is better. Spending my day in the Doctor's office isn't my idea of fun but paying $15 co-pay than the $75 ER visit is also a plus and that makes me happy. Drugs are making me loopy but hey, I have less pain. I HAVE LESS PAIN!!!!! All I wanted was pain free baby, Pain free and I'm on my way. Take care,Peace!!! Oh I do have to give the other Doctor on Sunday some credit. I went into his office with a 102 fever and chills, my lungs sounded great and I wasn't coughing up lung butter and really not coughing that much really so it looked like the flu to him. I guess I wasn't sick enough yet even though I thought I was being run over by a Mack Truck so when he told me I had the flu I believed him and went home to wallow in my sorrow. sigh!!!

Life is too short for this shit!!!

Okay,I'm on day 3 of having the flu. At first I thought it was just a 24 hour bug that wasn't all that bad until Thursday mid-morning I couldn't keep my eyes open. I called the hubby and asked him to come home because I was neglecting the children. I just couldn't get my ass in gear to do the simplest thing and thank god he was able to come home so I could sleep and sleep is what I did. I woke up around dinner time. That night I realized my bones were hurting and not only were they hurting it felt like someone was taking a knife to them and stabbing it in my spine. I was thinking this can't be normal but brushed it off as just having a bug because I actually wasn't running a fever. I asked the hubby if he could call the grandparents if they could come over to take care of the kids on Friday because by this time I wasn't feeling much of doing anything let alone taking care of two children so the grandparents came over Friday. I woke up this morning freezing and a fever. I felt like someone ran me over in the night and then left me in a ditch. I missed our cousin's 3 rd birthday party. At least the hubby took the kids because I would have felt guilty if they couldn't go because of me. I need to turn this health around because I have lots to do. The daughter's birthday party is next Saturday and oh the house is in shambles. I think I need to hire a Molly maid, oh that's right, the hubby has all next week off. I'll make him work all week doing what I can't. I've been debating if I should go see a Doctor but frankly, the last time I went to the ER they hooked me up to some drip and bitched to me about my diabetes. It was a waste of my time. I hate stupid Doctor's. I hate the condescending Doctor's who think they know everything and you're telling them different and they are acting like I'm the professional and then they find out you were right from the beginning. The one thing I learned about having several chronic Diseases I know my body and what my body reacts to so when a Doctor thinks they know me better than I know myself I can get a little bitchy....okay, I can get extremely bitchy. Typically you're in the ER because you're sick so waiting around, getting poked with needles, taking medicine that doesn't do shit is not my idea of spending several hours of my time. I better be severally sick like when I had walking pneumonia during the last pregnancy. I knew I needed medical intervention when I couldn't breath or when last summer during the Day out with Thomas when I was throwing up water and burning up. I was a mess. I'm at stage 6 right now and I'm on cranky but I can deal with the aches and pains for now. It kind of gets worst during the night so God help me get through the night because I don't think the hubby would appreciate having to drive me to the ER during the night when we all could be sleeping all nice and soundly. In the last couple of hours it feels like one of my cats scratched the back of my throat which isn't good because unfortunate for me I tend to get Bronchitis because of the Asthma related to my allergy to dust mites. Oh how fun for me!!!! Life is what it is but I take my Advair so it's all good but once in a while that slippery bug gets past the wall of medications I take and this bug is trying to bring me down. Not on your life bud but then again I may lose this fight and have to spend a few hours in the ER. As much as I hate having to go my body is beat up from the Anemia and Low blood pressure. I want to cry like my almost two year old son does on a regular basis but I can't because then my head gets clogged even more so I'm crying in my head. I'm a mess but like anything else in my life I'll pull through. Damn it, I'm feeling like shit but I don't want to spend the night in some hospital room hooked up to some IV. I just want some strong painkillers to knock me out for a few hours. Pain free, all I want is pain free baby!!! Pain Free!!! Take care,Peace!!!

My son is growing up!!!

It's official and hot off the presses. My 22 month old is now sleeping in a big boy bed. I didn't think this day would arrive because of my lazy ass. I think he was ready months ago but I kept putting it off. The daughter moved into her big girl bed when she was 18 months old so for my son to be in that tiny baby bed for this long time was just pitiful for him. He out grew the thing about 3 months ago but getting the energy to go out and buying a bed for him was just to much energy for me plus he's the baby of the family. It makes him in the "not a baby" category from now on. The almost 4 year old daughter is a little bit jealous of him getting a new room ....kind of. I bought him pillows, a new blanket and things for his big boy bed and she kind of felt cheated because she didn't get anything. I keep reminding her she is blessed to have what she has and I know she knows but when it's convenient for her or when she has to have something. I wouldn't call my children spoiled but they do have some nice things. They live in a nice house and sometimes I think they have way to many toys when I'm tripping over them left and right but then I visit someone else's house with children and then I realize they don't have that many toys compared to other families. This makes me feel good because I like giving my children nice things and now I feel like I'm not going too over board. So the kids rooms are done. I still have plans for the Master bedroom. Stage 2 is still in planning. First stage was getting a bed and side tables. We got a sleigh bed and two nice china style like night stands. Stage two is buying a nice chair, a hanging lamp and some book shelves and the Master will be finished. I think I'm relived the son is in a bed boy bed. Now the hubby and I need to get our butts in gear and go get some dressers for the kids room. The daughter needs a new dresser because when she decided to give Manny our cat a bath she used her dresser as the tub. Lets just say we need to throw that stink in the garbage because I'm not going to waste my time trying to save this dresser which has been abused by the daughter when I keep fixing the thing every couple of months. I'll just get her a new better well put together dresser and cross the fingers she doesn't destroy this dresser too. Ahoy, I need a nap but the kids got up early from their separate quiet times so I didn't get my much needed nap. That's why I haven't written a lot lately because I sleep when the kids do. I need all the sleep I can get so my blogging gets put on last of the things to do during the day. Oh well, it's not like I have lots to say anyway. I need to go take care of the kiddo's. Take care, Peace!!!

It's March Madness!!!

Hello it's March. I can't believe at the end of this Month my daughter will be 4 years old. It just seemed like yesterday we were bring her home from the Hospital with this 4lbs, 13oz healthy baby girl and now she's 41 inch's tall about 35lbs. She's so precious to us and our gift from God. Well I'm in the process of simplifying my life. As much as I love material things and I like shopping and spending money I feel my house is cluttered with stuff and a whole lot of stuff. Do we need this stuff? Okay, some of the stuff I can't live without but other stuff like the 4 boxes of clothes I have in my bedroom I haven't worn in years, the garage full of boxes of stuff we haven't unpacked yet and I'm not missing any of it so do I need to still keep it? The answer is no, I don't need it if I'm not even using it so it will have to go. I'm planning a yard sale sometime this year and then the rest we don't sale we'll donate. I hate clutter and it drives me crazy. Most of the time I don't like going into the kids play area because the kids have all the toys scattered all over the floor. I like my family room now because it's toy free. It's my tidy room plus the TV is in it. The kids can bring toys in there to play but at the end of the day the toys go back to the playroom. My Family room is my grown up space and when I start feeling overwhelmed I can sit on my couch and look around my space which haven't been over-run by toys, hubby's train parts and everything else that seems to collect around the rest of my house. So our trying to save money is coming along. We did have to spend some money to save money in the long run. We ordered a new TIVO box because our old one isn't digital so when we don't have cable we wouldn't be able to watch the channels you can just pull out of the air and so we upgraded and got ourselves a great deal in the process. We have a lot of plans. We think sometime next year we will be out of credit card debt so the only debt we will have is our mortgage on our home. Our last Car payment is in July and that's another $600 a month savings. So by the end of August we'll be saving around $700 a month and I'm sure we can cut back on more. There will be some expenses we'll pick up along the way like our daughters preschool expense in the fall. It's weird how I feel like a responsible person. Does this mean I'm finally an adult? Whatever the case I think the hubby and I feel like we're getting in a better place financially. We don't want to feel like money is an issue and if we want to go on vacation to Disneyland for example we can go do that. It's great to spend money but it's also great not living paycheck to paycheck!!!! I still want to go home to Canada sometime in the next few years. I miss home. It will be 7 years in September since I've been home. I can't believe it's been that long. Wow, now I'm starting to get homesick. It's been way to long and so that costs a lot of money to travel with a family of four. Okay, now I'm sad. I didn't want to get myself sad but it's been way to long. My family is important to me so being away that long makes me sad. At least, my kids are still young so when they are a little older when we do travel back to Canada they will remember the trip meeting their cousins and my friends and the rest of my East Coast family. That way they can see where Mommy came from, the small town I grew up in, the big bad city I moved to when I moved out of my parents house. I think it will be fun to show my children my home town. Man, I miss it now and talking about it makes me miss it even more. You don't think you miss something until it's gone. It's so true!!! I will be coming home soon and hopefully it won't be another 7 years when I finally do. Well now that I miss home I'm going to wallow in my sadness, maybe listen to some music or I may just take a nap. Whatever I end up doing Take care, Peace!!