Life is trucking on!!

Okay, I know I haven't posted for awhile but it's been very difficult for me for the last few weeks. I feel like my body is fighting with itself. I figured it would take some time getting used to my Vitamin D medication so I've expected this chaos of bodily pain. The worst symptom is the brain fog and the abdominal pain like someone is ripping my insides out. It's not pretty but I know it won't last for ever. I will write more when I'm out of the fog!!! Take care, Peace!!!!!

I have Brain Fog!!!

Well it's been a week since I started my new medication and frankly I'm excited but my body has other idea's for me. I barely made it through my son's birthday party last Saturday and my brain is so fogged I don't know if I'm coming or going. I'm a mess but I'm hoping it only lasts a few weeks. I can't write so this is going to be very short because I can't think and already I'm sure this all doesn't make sense because I'm having a hard time writing. Take care, Peace!!

Vitamin D Deficiency!!!

I don't know if I'm going to cry or laugh with joy. My body has been falling apart on me since my last pregnancy with my son. I finally got my answer today and the Doctor called saying yes, I had Vitamin D Deficiency. The blood test is called 25-hydroxyvitamin D test and 25(OH)D levels should be between 50–80 ng/ml, and my level was 10. I've started my new drug Drisdol. I take one pill once a week then in three months I go back and take the test again to see where my blood level is. I feel like I finally got some hope. I was at the end of a rope I was desperately trying to hold on too with no safely net to catch me if I fell. It was very frustrating banging my head against the wall with the medical profession I felt wasn't listening to me. So as of today, I have Diabetes (cross between type 1 and type 2), Anemia (thinks it's due two various causes), Orthostatic hypotension (irregular low blood pressure), and various complications it's two many to count. The one problem I have is dealing with severe fatigue. It is frustrating talking to my Doctor's and explaining I AM super tired ALL the TIME and lowering my way of life to the point I can barely function during the day and them telling me I shouldn't be that fatigue and my thought was something is causing me to feel this way. It's like do you think I enjoy feeling this way because it sucks and I get so frustrated and I wasn't going to sit back and accept my life would be like this for the rest of my life. I wanted answers and hope. I have a life I want to live and do things with my children instead of sitting on the sidelines. I have to work around my energy levels and hopefully I might not be doing that anymore. It's like looking at the life you want through the window but you can't touch it. I don't like feeling so sick all the time. I don't like feeling I'm not in control of my own body so today I may have gotten my prayer and answer I've been waiting so long to hear. So my new chapter to my journey starts today. I'm going to fight to get to a healthier life. This is my new beginning. I hope you will join me along the way through my good days and some of the bad. I just know life will get better for me and I can fully enjoy my life and maybe on my new journey my body will finally work for me as each day goes by. Take care, Peace!!!

Happy Mother's Day!!!

So no sleeping in late for me but I'm not complaining. I've been busy today but the family got me a nice picture frame and some cards that made me cry. I got a cute video from my mother in law saying I was mother of the year. It made my morning. My father in law sent me a wonderful email from Iraq which also made me cry so basically I've been crying all morning and on top of that I got to clean the house in peace with no children getting under my feet. It was the best so this has been a wonderful day so far. The house is clean, the children are happy and I'm Mother of the year. Ha Ha!!! I'm going to go and relax and read my rag mags. Happy Mother's Day!!!! Take care, Peace!!!!! (Okay, I started this letter a week after my daughter was born and finished it a month after my son was born.) My dearest daughter, you have been a beautiful blessing my sweet little bundle of joy. I will fight for you, give you love, encourage you when you need me, I'll guide you as best as I can. It's okay to make mistakes as long as you learn from them. I don't expect you to be perfect for I am not perfect. We can go on this journey of your life together. I will watch you grow into the person you were meant to be to see you shine as the beautiful girl you are with a special place in my heart. You father and I love you and it was a difficult journey how you came into this world I would do it all again because you are worth it. I am proud to be your mother. God Bless! I sit here once again writing this letter after giving birth to a health beautiful boy watching him sleep while his big sister cradles her doll beside him. Never in a million years would I have thought I would be in a place where I knew what I was meant for...being a mother. I found my place in life my family is complete. It will be a wonderful journey of laughs, cries, good memories, not so good memories but I promise you my two wonderful children I will always fight for you and protect you the best way I know how and if I don't teach you anything I just want you to know I will always love you. I got the best three gifts of my life, your daddy and the both of you. Take care my babies Mommy loves you!!!!! The other day I was doing some spring cleaning on my computer and I found this letter I wrote two years ago. I think the anemia is getting to my brain because I don't remember writing it. It has been a journey of one I didn't expect but life isn't perfect but it's what you do of it that counts. I wouldn't change the last four years of my life because of my kids. As much as I'm guiding them they are teaching me more about myself and how to be a better mother. Once again Happy Mother's Day to all mother's out there. Have a great Day being a Mother!!!!

It's been a crazy day!!!

I think I'm going to cry. Today started off on a bad note waking up at 7:30am and then hearing the son cry so I went into his room and he's rolled up in a ball with his butt in the air. I tried getting him to calm down but he wouldn't so I took him downstairs and changed his diaper. He had a really bad diaper rash. It looked all raw and painful. I cleaned him up and we said goodbye to the hubby for his day playing golf. I wanted it to be a good day but things happen. On top of the son having the biggest diaper rash of his life the daughter has some stomach flu and has been running to and from the bathroom all day. I'm physically tired and I should be taking a nap but the daughter kept waking up the son to play so now I can't take a nap. Running around taking care of both kids when they both needed me is hard and I wish the hubby was home helping me out. I can only do so much and not enough hands to help me do it. I don't know when the hubby will be coming home and it could be in an hour or hours. I love my kids and I'll do anything for them but help couldn't come soon enough. I'm so tired and worn out. I need a break but it looks like my break isn't coming any time soon. Please God let me get though this until the hubby gets home. Rest is all I ask!!!! Take care, Peace!!!

Life moves on!!

Wow, I'm slowly having some time to breath. This past week has been busy and the hubby had a week of vacation we thought it would be a week of just relaxing but instead we are running around with appointments and such. I thought vacation is to rest and reflection on life to figure out how to enjoy time and family but instead we are running around. I think I'll take a break in the next decade. Oh well, at least I'm being honest about it :) I knew we should have gone to Reno for a few days. I went and found myself a new Doctor. The other one I had was nice but she couldn't help me any longer. I'll be calling tomorrow to find myself a new Hematologist also because the one I'm seeing isn't doing anything I feel is helping me so it's time to move on. I got some of my tests results back and those one's have come back in the normal range. Most of those tests were from my yearly Diabetes routine blood tests. I am waiting for the big test, a new one which I'll be waiting impatiently for. It's the 25-hydroxy vitamin D test to measure how much vitamin D is in your body. I'm being tested for Vitamin D Deficiency. I think I've been tested for everything else but not this test. I'm really hoping this is my answer to all my problems and it's treatable with drugs. I started taking drugs for my Orthostatic hypotension and it took what almost 6 months to get that taken care of. I'm not looking forward to get my A1C back because I know it will be high. The A1C test is the diabetic test to see how controlled your Diabetes have been controlled over a period of months. My last A1C was 6.5 which is okay. Doctor's like Diabetics to be around the 6 mark but under 7 is ideal. During pregnancy they want you around 5 which can be done but it's not something I could do on a forever deal. My doctor's prefer me to be between 6 and 6.5 because of my Diabetic Retinopathy(eye disease). I would rather not have to get laser treatments again and if my Diabetes is under a certain number it puts strain on my eyes so I can't be too low or of course, too high. My weight is good and has been stable for the last 9 months. Other than having a large amount of blood drawn my health is stable as in no more new medical problems to deal with. I'll write when I get my very important test back. You think what medical problems I don't have...cancer...I don't have cancer.....I am blessed I don't have cancer!!!! Well my son had his speech therapy appointment and we decided to put him in the early development program to help him with his speech. I know he's only two but he's way behind at his age and like I told the hubby it doesn't hurt to help him now before it can become a serious problem later. He was so professional at his appointment. I think it was because his sister wasn't there and it was something fun for him. He got to play with toys at this appointment and point to pictures so to him this was easy. I also made Hearing appointments for the whole family. I know the daughter has wonderful hearing but it's good to have a base hearing test for her so in the future she needs another hearing test they already will have one on file for her. The son needs one with his on going speech situation and I figured the hubby and I should get out hearing done too. Well I finally gave myself a break but soon I'll be baking a cake for my hubby. It's his 35th birthday today. Happy Birthday sweetie!!! Busy Busy Busy!!!! I'll slow down sometime in the future. Take care, Peace!!!!