Tears within my Heart!!

Life has up and downs and ever since I found out I was pregnant with my daughter my life has been an uphill battle of the life I want to live and the life I'm trying to leave behind. I have so much burden within my heart and each step I take and each step forward it seems like life is my gift to my children. I need to just let life challenges that lead the path to where I am today where it should be...in the past. I just have to keep being strong and I need to keep pushing forward. I need to feel like those tears within my heart are my battle wounds of where I've been to where I'm going. It's one of those days where I feel like I'm at a crossroads of good and evil. It's the fiction to my true reality.

I don't write these thing to have people feel sorry for me. I never want pity but more for people to understand this is life. We all have felt unworthy and unloved at one point in our lives. I understand your pain, and I understand your happiness. I just want people to feel it's okay, we're all crazy with emotion and that's okay. I know I have a hard time asking for help. I also feel better when I just write what's in my head and just let it all out.

This journal is like my own personal therapy session. So the few people who come here know I'm being real. I write what's in my heart at the time I'm writing. No holding back especially when I'm hurting. If I'm not real then what's the point? What's the point of writing out my thoughts if I'm going to be fake about it?

Right now I'm struggling to figure out how to live in a world of destruction to being worldly without it affecting my well being, my heart, and the dreams for my life. It's hard when you read stories of Police Officers being shot, or some mad man killing innocent people, or the fighting between Political Parties and in the Mainstream Media. The hate in this world is daunting and it goggles my mind. So I move forward and I'm learning to separate my world yet at the same time being informed because sheltering yourself from all that will only hurt you in the end. Always know what the other hand is doing then the one that's in front of you. One of these days I'll figure it out but until then the tears are still within my heart.

You are loved and you are worthy. Take care, Peace!!