Life goes by too fast!!

March Madness is right. This month passed me bye like a thief in the night. Lots happened this month and way too many to count. My daughter is officially 6 years of age. My family got plagued with the flu and with me taking a trip to the Emergency Room and a lovely stay in the hospital for a few days. My daughter got to have her sleepover with her grandparents over her break and I wish the circumstances were better but she felt she had the better end of the stick.

I'm recovering from a really bad cold or allergies I haven't figured that one out but at least, I'm not in the hospital anymore with bad food and an IV in my arm. I didn't even have time to write out my thoughts which to me could be a bad thing but oh well, this month is almost over. April is coming on fast and I thought March was pretty overwhelming and stressful April may just push me over the emotional cliff but as always I will overcome with style and come out of April a stronger person or more dysfunctional. Who knows, but I hope the month of April goes bye just like March plus I need the weather to turn to spring so I don't have to wear so many layers of clothes to keep my bones from freezing.

I'm here and someday I will have something more exciting to say but until then....take care, peace!!!

I got questions!!

I do my best thinking when life gives me challenges. I seek answers but sometimes I just have to put them out there. No one has all the answers except for God and who knows if he will share them and if we ever want to know all the answers.

Right now I have some hard questions about life, the questions people have been fighting, arguing about for along time. What is life? When does it really start? When does it end? Who decides when it should end? Does society dictate these answers or is it a personal choice to seek out it's answers.

Some people are afraid to ask these questions because of the ridicule and judgement they may get or people may think they are ignorant for ever questioning for an answer.

So then one might seek the answer from God if they believe in him the creator of the heavens and the universe: what is life? (NIV-Genesis 2:7) the Lord God formed the man from dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, the man became a living being.

Some people may not believe in a creator or believe there is a God and their understanding about life is different then a religious one. Then you get the argument that a baby isn't really a baby until it is born so it's okay to end its life before it gets the chance to ever have it's first breath. So who really decides when life starts?, the women who terminates her pregnancy early, the Politicians, Doctors, Society? and then you get the argument that it's the women's choice what to do with her own body. Yes, I believe a women has her free will to decide what she does with her own body. I'm a women and for someone to dictate what I can and can't do with my personal being I kind of get a little upset. So who really decides then? For the believer it's God. The unbeliever it's human rights.

So what is life? and when should it be protected? Should society protect people who want to commit suicide? If it's there choice to end their life then why shouldn't they be allowed to end their life? Or why is it so wrong for a Doctor to help one of there patients end his/her suffering? Why is that wrong? If Doctor's are there to preserve life then why not try and preserve an unborn baby? Why is suicide wrong but abortion is okay? Those are questions to think about.

What makes ones life valuable and who gets to decide the value of that life? Society? Women? Men? Religion? or is it the individual person who values ones life and then you think about the unborn child. Does this being who isn't born yet have value to life? Then when does life really began?, The moment an egg and sperm connect or when a baby is born? I don't know the answers. Maybe both are the right answers and it depends on the person.

Then is it really wrong for someone to commit suicide or for someone to help in ending a life from medical suffering, or for someone on death row, for a women to abort an unborn baby. Whatever is right or wrong of what you believe when life begins....then who decides the right answers? Who's right? Who's wrong? Who gets to decide when life should be saved and when life should end? Who deserves life? and what about unborn babies who never gets a chance of living? Do they even have value?

So we place judgement on people with opposition on what we believe is right to life. Maybe we should think about what's right to the individual and let the person decide how they value life and when a women should end a pregnancy. We all have our own beliefs, we all have our own journey in life and we all value life differently so then why should anyone place judgement on someone who thinks and feels differently than yourself?  We all can't be right or are we?  Take care, Peace!!

Along way home!!

Sometimes I think about death. It's not like I want to die but I do think about it and what would happen if I died...and did I do enough to set my kids up to be okay without me? What do I want my legacy to be for my children?

I have all kind of questions I think about and try to find answers to some of them. I just think if I'm doing enough in regards to my family. The answer is no, and maybe the answer will always be a no, I'm not doing enough.

I have so much I want to teach my children about life, compassion, love and respect for oneself and respect for others. I want them to grow up to be leaders of good moral standing. I guess most mothers have these similar goals for their children.

So right now, I'm not ready for death. I'm not ready to leave this earth yet. I have so much to learn and so much love to give to my children and I'm sure life would be fine without me. I'm just selfish if I died today someone else would fill my role as mother to my children. I'm sure my children would adjust to any situation but I want to be mother, I want to be the teacher and I want to comfort my children when their hearts get broken. I want to watch all their milestones of ups and downs, their achievements, and their mistakes. I want to know them throughout their life to watch them be who they are as people.

Then what do I do if I don't want to die today? I give my children all that I can give today and everyday. I show them compassion, teach them about love and just support them and then the rest is up to them. I will never be 100% ready to leave them so setting them up to be strong, loving people who want to give something of themselves to humanity for the better of humankind then I'll at least feel like I did my part as a mother.

I always want my kids to try their best...Just try, I tell them. You can't do anything if you don't at least, try!! If you can't do it on the first try then do it again, and again until you get it. Life is frustrating but I want my children to know if they wait for someone else to give them happiness they will be waiting along time. Happiness comes from within not by material things. Material things are nice but they are not everything. You are not defined by what you have (material wealth) but what you give from your own heart.

I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm not ready to die today or die tomorrow. I want to be selfish and be a spectator in my children's life journey to see them as they are today and what they will become tomorrow. I want to be apart of that. I want to be their mother, be there cheerleader, their shoulder to cry on and most of all I'm not ready to say goodbye yet.

Someday I will die but at least, I will know I did my best when I do. Take care, Peace!!

Happy March!!

So it's March, and this month I have lots of wonderful things happening. My daughter turns 6 at the end of this month. I'm doing to make an effort to enjoy my life. Things that I've been dealing with I'm just doing to just deal with, make choices I know is right for me and move on. I've been making my decisions really hard but really, they are not that hard to make. I do agree with something I just make it right and then move on. There, I made a decision.

Making life easy is a frame of mind so it's going to be a good month because I'm going to chose to make this month go smoothly by doing what's right for me plus I'm going to see Chris Tomlin in Concert on April 14th. It can't get better than that!!

Tomorrow I'm getting two Christian CD's I ordered last week and I'm excited about those. I know this world is in chaos and I know it sucks but I'm not going to let it get to my heart. I'll do what I need to do to do whatever I can, donate where I think my time and money should go and just keep my spirits up so I don't get pulled into a depression just because I care too much.

I'm learning so much and it's great. Never lower yourself to please someone else because you just suffer in the end. Take care, Peace!!!