One Moment in Time!

I want one moment in time

When I'm more than I thought I could be

When all of my dreams are a heartbeat away

And the answers are all up to me

Give me one moment in time

When I'm racing with destiny

Then in that one moment of time

I will feel

I will feel eternity

I love these lyrics from a song Whitney Houston sings. It's so true. I love music and how I can lose myself into listening to the words music expresses. I can relate to words like this Whitney Houston song. I've done and experienced things in my life where I just wanted one moment in time to prove my destiny. I didn't know at the time it was all up to me to decide the way I want my life to go. My direction in my life is in my control. However I decide is the way it's going to go. I didn't get it back as a child. I didn't know the way my life would be was my destiny. I'm blessed and proud I got it. I got the message for my eternity. I feel like I'm a Hallmark Card but it's a choice I made along time ago. I don't want to live my life in chaos so guess what? I don't. I work hard to keep my life going down the path I've chosen. It can be easy sometimes falling back into a life I was raised in. It takes a lot of will power to fight some of those behaviours in time seemed like the easy way out but in reality was so much harder to deal with. I'm not an alcohol drinker anymore because when I did drink it was to get drunk. I made horrible decisions which hurt my inner soul to the point I loathed myself which I would hurt myself in other ways because in my heart I wasn't worth being loved from the things I did while I was drunk. I don't do this anymore because it's not a life I want for me or for my family. It's a hard life feeling like less than who you really are.

I've lived to be

The very best

I want it all

No time for less

I've laid the plans

Now lay the chance

Here in my hands

It's never to late to change your destiny if something isn't working in your life. Life is so much brighter knowing you and in YOU are making something of yourself. I can be very judgemental about myself at times thinking I'm not doing enough but stopping and just listening to what my heart has to say reminds me life is supposed to be simple. It's not supposed to be hard where you feel like you can't breath all the time. It took me years to turn my life around. I had to get slapped in the face a lot to finely get it. I could say I wasn't much of a religious person growing up and it's more of a newer thing in the last couple of years but I did believe in faith. I believed I was worth more than I believed in my heart. A lot of good people saw it in me when I didn't and I kept trying to get it. I wanted to believe so bad my life could be better. I made a plan, life goals if you want to look at it like that, and made along list of things I wanted to see for my future.

My List at 14:

Graduate High School so I can get out of dodge

To find hope

Wanting some peace

A better life

My sisters back living with me

I got everything on this list and it took me moving out of the house to get the last goal. These goals were small but then again I was only 14 years old. I graduated High School in 1993 but went back to High School again and got some courses in Business and then left with an award Honor's of Distinction for my hard work.

My List at 23:

Find a man who will treat me well

Get a good job

Go back to school

Get married

Buy a house

Have children

I actually got all those plus so much more. I'm happily married with two children and we live in a nice house. I went back to University in 1998 but didn't finish and I look back with no regrets not finishing school. I had a good job before I moved to the USA which I loved. I'm a SAHM(stay at home mother) and I love it. I complain at times but I wouldn't change a thing. My children are apart of my life and at times they can drive me up the wall but they are teaching me to have more patience and not everything has to be done just right. I'm hoping I'm teaching them to be the best they can be and have fun while they are living there life. It's hard to see the good in life in times of struggles but if you don't learn in those times of struggles you will never know what you want. Learn from people and listen to what they have to say because maybe you will see life in a whole different way from your own. It's never to late to change what's not working right in your life. Believe in yourself because if I can anyone can!! Take care, Peace!!!