I'm working on this!!

I have FEAR and it can be from anything really, the economy, natural disasters, war etc. I panic when I feel like things that are happening today scares me and I like to be prepared for anything. I like to feel like I'm in control of any situation that comes my way. I don't like being side swiped on life. My fear comes from my childhood. I realized where this fear has come from and now I'm working on it. I would prefer not to live like this. The more I read about things I don't want to read because it's down right scary I freak out. I really don't want to pass off my fear to my children.

I want to work out a problem and solve it like right now. I'm almost finished my emergency kit. I hope all the preparations I have done will be enough and sometimes I doubt myself like maybe I don't have every thing I need to survive or my families survival. Yes, I worry about things like this. What happens if this scenario happens? Do we have everything we need? What happens if the economy collapses and we have to survive by Bartering? What's more valuable..food, water etc. Do we have enough?

I used to think my fear is what drives me to be a better person but now I'm kinda thinking my stance on this. I think it's nice to have some fear in your life but not when it's runs your life. My fear is running my life and I'm working on changing it. My hubby is great when I get on a panic rant with my fears because he's my rational rock. He works with me to see everything is going to be okay. I guess I need to have more faith. When you are young and the only one you feel you can count on is yourself it's hard to give up a little of your control away. It's not easy and sometimes I even resist myself but I'm slowly understanding to not be so fearful I need to give up my control on things I have no control over.

Sure it's nice to be prepared for things but not going overboard like I have been doing. It's not healthy. I truly believe I will manage to survive if anyone of my end of the world scenario's happen. I know in my being I can be a leader to get through anyone of my scenario's but I want to be prepared. I need to be prepared but with life you truly will never be prepared until something happens. I need to believe and have faith I will be alright. I need to lean on my faith a lot more. Just let it go!!

Trust in things which will carry me to make the right decisions like trust in my intuition. Knowing I'm doing the best I can and when things come up to make the decisions that will better the situation then crumble to the ground because it's hard. I got this and it's not easy and I'm working on it. Take care, Peace!!