Wired Differently!

There's nothing left of me cause you thrown me away like yesterdays trash. You drop a bomb into my life and then tell me you want space. How am I supposed to process that? How am I supposed to move on? I trusted the words you spoken. Only silence and you broken the trust of the life you told me I was worth yet then I look into the mirror and I see the opposite of what you see.

You can't expect me to walk this path alone. I came from broken then you promised to raise me up to turn around and smash me on the ground. I feel like I'm losing my way. My heart dragged through this emotional train of despair because you put me there. I just want to retreat from this place because all it's doing is getting me burnt.

Why? Why did you put me here? Why did you even help me? Why knowing you would turn around and destroy the very part of my soul that was healing? I don't understand and I'm trying to find answers to all this chaos because I'm here searching for the meaning of it all. Why you even cared?

How do you expect I would take this news? So confused and I'm trying to fight the voices within. Each day it's a new day and I don't think I'll ever be the same. I don't think I can open up the possibility that what happened will ever change. Broken with my shattered dreams.

You have to give me time to process all of this. I have to fight that once was and look through this with deepen sympathy. Hear my heart because it's crying for you. I'm not angry and I don't know if I can be. I'm just feeling like I wasn't worth enough for you to tell me the truth.

I feel conflicted because my work is to expose men for who they really are. This is where my journey leads me but every time I want to follow my path I get slammed against the wall with your face staring back at me. How hard that must feel for me to be the one who's causing you so much of your pain.

Here I am feeling the raw emotions of fighting back the urge to run. I'm fighting my old life, fighting the feelings of the voices of shame. The voices of blame. The voices of who I never meant to be. This is what you are doing to me and I sit in silence while life going on. Life is moving forward and I'm sitting here fighting with the voices within. Yes, we all need space to process this pain. Yes, we all need time for healing.

I just want to scream my heart out at you. Darkness is creeping in and it's crippling me and I don't want to go back there but you put me there with the exposure of who you really are. Is this my story? I don't think I can live like this. Throw me off this train and let me go because I'm asking you to. On the day we cross our paths again we'll be strangers within the sea of people. You don't hear me no more and that means I got my freedom to dust off the pain

It's my voice of freedom and I can follow my heart song once again. I don't know if that place darkness wants me is really in me. I think circumstance wants to put me there but someday I will look back to see my life's song during this time was never meant to be mine but was meant to be yours.

I have my dreams and I'll keep fighting for what's keeping me going. I don't know where I'll be going but I do know this I'll get past the pain and while I'm sitting here I'll be looking forward because no one will keep me here trying to push me into the darkness again.

I have figuring out to do because I'm wired differently then you. Take care, Peace!