I'll always will remember you!!

I'm having a rough morning like I woke up cranky, moody and sleep deprived. I have so much guilt in my heart this past month. My younger sister 5 years ago passed away from an overdose. She overdosed off of Meth and I couldn't save her. Mind you we lived thousands of miles apart but still we talked all the time on the phone and through email. I didn't grow up with my sister because I was adopted but over the years before her death we got close. She was struggling with life and we had long talks on the phone into the night. I was an ear and shoulder she could talk about her life and where she wanted to go. I cared and loved her like we've known each other our entire lives. It was a hard time for me when she died. I was emotional with joy of having my daughter to saying goodbye to my sister. The month of April 5 years ago was hard for me. The reason I feel guilty about her death is I feel like I should have done more. My words weren't enough to save her. I wanted to be there for her and I feel like I failed as a big sister. My sister was confused and I thought she was doing good until the near end she felt doing drugs was her answer to her problems. Life was just too hard for her and my support wasn't enough to keep her safe and for her to make the right choices to stay away from the drugs. It breaks my heart to know end. I miss her laugh, I miss talking to her. The last time I talked to her I was telling her how her little niece was doing. I was telling her it was safe to have a baby when you're a diabetic. My sister wanted a baby and we would talk long hours about babies and her dreams of becoming a mother. She just didn't get the chance to and her life ended to short. I can't talk anymore the pain of her death is too much for me right now. I'll always remember you my angel in heaven. Take care, Peace!!