I've been thinking about Peace lately. What does that really mean? Sure I put it at the end of my posts and for me Peace means acceptance of one's self. Peace is commonly understood as the absence of hostility. So if you are hostile to your inner being you are not at Peace. If you love yourself and you are confident for the love of yourself you know who you are. You are not struggling to figure out what you believe or who you are as a person. You are who you are as a person and there is no question in your mind. So of course, you would have a strong understanding of your inner foundation that makes up your love which in sense is peace with no struggle and you have no burden.
When we struggle with ourselves we don't have love in our hearts and if we do we're in pain about it. You are searching for acceptance from people, from life but how can you receive acceptance from others if you can't do it for yourself first. If someone told you are beautiful but you don't believe you are beautiful then you're not going to believe them fully. If you believe you are beautiful and someone told you are beautiful you're going to believe them fully.
At one point in my life I didn't like myself all that much. I was in mass destruction within myself and I didn't know who I was. It was a lonely time for me. I felt like I was being torn in two different directions. I hope I will never have to go through that again. For one, I didn't know who I was as a person. I thought I knew but I didn't truly or I wouldn't have been in a position to hate myself. I now enjoy being by myself with my thoughts. It's not so dark in there. I slowly started to know who I was and what I wanted, what I loved, who I wanted to become and I worked on myself to release the burden within my heart. I worked on my forgiveness for the burden I was feeling and the acceptance of myself. It's a process and I'm not quite there but I'm on the road.
Once I feel like I'm in a place where the foundation is there I can share my peace with others and help others with compassion and understanding they too can feel at peace too. It's like in the beginning of a relationship. You want to know who the other person is to see if they are compatible with you so why can't you do that for yourself?
I know it's the hardest thing I had to do is forgive myself for my failures and my bad decisions and the people who have hurt me. It took along time to forgive myself. It also took me me a hard time to forgive others who have hurt me. In the process of learning what I wanted in life I realized when you hold a grudge toward others it doesn't hurt them. They are not hurting and they are not fixated on the pain which the burden is only on you. Let that go however you want too because it's really not worth it. You are not punishing them but yourself for allowing yourself to not forgive. I forgive you and I'm ready to move on. I'm ready to release the burden from my painful feelings, my angry feelings and the struggle which isn't allowing me to move forward.
So necessarily you don't have to forgive the person whom has hurt you in person for example: I couldn't get passed the pain and suffering my mother had on my heart for verbally abusing me when I was a kid. I wanted validation from her to move on and I never got it from her. Her denial of her part in my suffering only hurt me and I couldn't move on from that. I couldn't understand why she was in denial of my pain she caused me. It was like I wanted her to suffer as badly as I was feeling. So when I poured my heart out about my feelings to her on her abusing me and I didn't get what I wanted from her. It hurt me even more which broke my heart because she was my mother and I loved her. She was my mother and I didn't understand why she wasn't giving me compassion and the love I was needing from her. I was broken and I was searching for love from the wrong place. I needed to forgive and then in return find love within my own inner being to love oneself.
When I was getting to know who I was as a person I learned I needed to validate my own feelings. I know I was abused and I know it hurt me so when I finally got it I forgave my mother. The pain in my heart was my own burden and allowing myself to keep hurting was my own suffering and not hers.
I didn't want to hurt anymore and over time I have released the burden I was carrying around within me. Having Peace is refreshing and it feels good. I like good which in turns gives me a better outlook on my life. So we all want peace. We all can have peace but we need to work towards Peace and we need to share our peace with others. So go out and enjoy your life and start the journey of forgiveness.... what ever that is for you. Take care, Peace!!!
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