So last night I got out of my comfort zone and wrote an email to my Pastor. It was a difficult task and there were a few moments where I just wanted to delete the email but I've been feeling unrested for awhile. I had the nagging feeling for awhile so last night I just went for it and my heart felt it was going to jump out of my chest when I pushed the send button but I did it. Now if I make it to Church on Sunday I think I'm moving forward and if I chicken out I will have taken a step backwards. I normally don't like going beyond my comfort zone. I feel safe with this blog so that doesn't count.
I'm kinda proud of myself really. I felt like I was being misunderstood and my husband is the more outgoing type and he just went head first into the launch of the new Church while I was just going on the ride of his excitement. I support my husband and he's helping the production team and is very busy serving the Church and I'm just the babysitter. So I had to say how I felt. I'm not my husband who is outgoing and can meet people and feel comfortable in his surroundings. I'm the shy, quiet person who has a hard time just going up to someone and having a conversation with them. I would rather blend in the crowd then be in the spotlight. I may be my husbands wife but our stories are totally different and I just felt like I was being compared has a married couple but not the individual.
I've been feeling left behind like I didn't need the service but be doing the serving. My relationship with God is new and I'm learning. I still have along ways to go and I don't feel like being pushed to fast into a world I'm not totally comfortable being in just yet. I got a lot of burden within my heart.
So I took the leap and sent that very hard emotional email and time will tell if it was worth it. Now I just need the courage to get my butt into Church Sunday. Take care, Peace!!
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