Life moves on!

Well I guess this is a new day. FRIDAY! I love Fridays because tonight is Scifi night starting off with Stargate Atlantis (with some Flanigan) and then Sanctuary. Oh I found my book I was looking for yesterday. I actually found it last night while I was taking the zillion drugs and vitamins I take on a daily basis and just happened to look up one shelf and sure enough there it was above all my drugs. I was like huh... why would I put it there seeing how I only keep all my drugs here? I don't even want to think why I would put a book there but anyway I found it. Thanksgiving is coming up and spending with the Hubby's family will be fun and don't get me started on Christmas. My hubby thought he would have to fly down to Mountain View, California in the beginning of December for meetings and such but found out this morning he won't have to go which is a good thing for me because I have my Neurology appointment on the 4th of December and I need him for this appointment to hold my hand. I'm getting used to all the testing and all the Doctor appointments but I still act like a baby and need his support for all my appointments. So far it's been frustrating doing a test..waiting..then finding out the test is normal. I should be happy I'm normal..right!! but it doesn't help when I have symptoms that something isn't right. It's not right when I have seizure like spells and can't be out long thinking I'm going to faint every 5 seconds so I'm definitely not normal. I don't want to have a relationship with the ER and I have been there twice in September and it's not fun. Something is going on with me so hopefully time will tell and I get results soon why I'm the way I am. I can't accept this to be my way of life. I can't have my daughter worry about me because she shouldn't have to at the age of 3. I should be worried for her because I'm the mother here. I have good days and sometimes I struggle. I'm not trying to feel sorry for myself because it doesn't help the situation any. My children need a mother in good spirits and there is a time and place when I need a good cry just to relieve some of the burden. Being sick isn't fun and sometimes I really do think it's all in my head so I do things I would do normally before I got sick and then my body goes.. hey what's up? and then I used up my energy for the day. It's not fun having no energy and some days I don't know how I managed to get through the day. I actually know how I manage from learning at a young age to survive internally and have the inner strength to make it one day at a time. I use my inner strength to get me throught the day. Some days are easy to do the basic things like taking care of the children but other days I need that extra push and then I remember the Poem "Footprints" and I make it until the hubby gets off work. We make it work right now because we don't have the control so there is nothing we can do. All I can do is for me to take care of me like taking my drugs and getting my blood tests done once a month and go to my various Doctor appointments. Life moves on and sometime it may not be what we want or the outcome to be what we want but you work what you got. Right now, I'm struggling to function and it sucks but that's what I have to work with right now and I have to accept it until Doctor's get that light bulb moment and figure out what's up with my health! Take care, Peace!