Goodbye 2008!

This will be short. I over did it today trying to find the leftover mint m&m's and now my back hurts. I think I need a nap. Oh well this past year was great over all. I had some medical issues that landed me in the ER but I'm not really counting those times. My son turned 1 and my daughter learned to write her name. It's all good! I hope 2009 is even better. 2008, it's be a blast! Wish everyone a great 2009. Take care, Peace!

Running with Scissors!

The second thing I like most to do besides listening to music is reading books. I love reading about people and their lives. I got really interested in stories about Holocaust Survivors and children who survived abuse of some kind. When I first started reading in this genre I think it was more for me to learn about how to live without all the pain from my past. If these persons could over come some traumatic event and their trauma coming out with a sense of understanding for life, I could too. My life drama was on the minimal scale to these stores of survival which to me made me feel better knowing I wasn't alone in my loneliness thinking I can overcome my pain and suffering.

Okay enough about me. I read a book called Running with Scissors by Augusten Burroughs. I would have to sum it up as a horrifying memoir of a boys life with a sense of being normal. This was a excellent book and it flowed from the beginning. I've read lots of books in my life and sometimes it takes a first chapter to get into the flow of the book and figuring out the way the author is writing. This book started out with good flow and it was easy to get into the story of the book which is a plus to me because I also hate having to read the first chapter twice once I figure out the flow. When I got into this book I couldn't wrap my head around this was a story of someones life. It was too crazy for me to think someone lived this life and it couldn't be a real life story. This kids life was crazy, chaotic and the people he was surrounded by were mentally unstable. The story was so brilliant and fascinating with a sense of normal. This kid was living this life in the sense this was normal to him. We as persons looking from the outside would think he was living some Bohemian life in a crazy world but to this kid it was his life and the author wrote it in a way this kid seemed ridiculously normal and his life wasn't the norm for children his age but the world he lived in was.

The book was about a child who parents divorced when he was 11. His mother was mentally troubled so she started seeing a psychologist for her problems and then one day she dropped her kid off at the Doctor's house. This family was a bunch of mixed matched group of characters in a rundown house described as falling apart and disgusting. The character I really enjoyed was the character Natalie. She was a 16 year old girl and when she was 13 her father give her to a has been 40 something Tennis Player and abused her. She came home with a large sum of money which her father kept for himself. When Augusten was 13 he came out he was gay and had a freakishly weird relationship with a 33 year old man who was the adopted son of the psychologist. There relationship lasted until one day the guy decided to vanish and was out of this kids life forever. Looking it from the outside I would say he was emotionally abused from his mother in her bizarre behaviour, his absent father, his new home of unique family members and his strange relationship with a man 20 years older. He never went to school, had the freedom any child would envy not having adults telling him what to think, say and do. He could live his life the way he wanted when he wanted. Like a bird flying free at the same time surrounded by strange and dysfunctional people. After reading the book I was very, I guess I would have to say disturbed. It bothered me to the point I couldn't believe a child lived this life and then at the same time in a world of crazy it felt like normal. It was an amazing book once you get over the shock of what the book was about and get over the fact this book had ridiculous amount of swearing in it.

Over all it's been one of the best books I read this year and that's says a lot because I've read a lot of books this past year and I found this book on the top of my list. This book isn't for everyone and the way I went into this book I had no clue on what the book was about. Knowing a head of time I most likely would have read it anyway. I guess with this book with amount of crazy and then troubled because this was someones childhood is enough to want to read the book. You learn to understand someones normal is another persons crazy. Thanks for sharing this story. Take care, Peace!!

Oh by the way, it was made into a movie. Go here. I think I'm going to have to check it out. A lot of big named actors are in it.

Cast: Annette Bening, Brian Cox, Joseph Fiennes, Evan Rachel Wood, Gwyneth Paltrow, Gabrielle Union, Alec Baldwin, and Joseph Cross playing Augusten Burroughs.

I think I'm more interested in what they do with the movie. The story is very deep so I hope they capture the story without showing too much.

Christmas Eve and all is Merry!

We made it to Christmas eve. The hubby fixed the lopsided Christmas tree. The house is clean and the Grandparents look like they will be able to come over tonight to celebrate with their grandchildren. We didn't know until today if they could come over or not with the weather and the snow. The hubby is outside shoveling the snow away and the children are down for there quiet times. I'm sitting and relaxing listening to the ringing in my ears. How fun for me! I guess I can turn on the music. Okay that's better. I tried my music player on facebook and it disappeared. I hate facebook sometimes especially when they changed it to this new format. Loved the old way better. Oh well, life changes sometimes even if you don't like it. This year has been good, sometimes challenging and we had so much blessings this year for our family. We made it another year and not so much wiser..lol!!! I love my family so much. We're a good crew and sometimes we all could take a break but at the end of the day we know what's important. I think my laptop keyboard just broke a piece. I don't know what's it's for but it's this little black thing. I think I should keep it and ask the hubby when he comes in. I love that he's a whiz at computers. All my computer needs I can go to him as my to go guy. Someone asked me the other day what my new year resolution will be for 2009 and I had to think about it. I don't know really. I don't diet because of the eating disorder and I could exercise more but at the moment exercising is put on hold because of the blood pressure problem so that's out of the question. I guess being more mindful and love my family more. Make my family first and get my health under control by putting pressure on all my Doctor's to figure out my health problems. I do everything they ask of me but they need to do more. I just want my family to do more giving of ourselves this year by volunteering of our time. We donate to charity but volunteering we need to start doing more. This will be a challenge because of the ages of my children but it doesn't hurt to start them out young to help people who need it. I'll have to research more on this. I would like to travel more this year if day trips are only the thing we can afford. Oregon is a beautiful State and I'll like to see more of it. I want my children to learn more about themselves and to find things that will interest them. Wow I'm on a roll and now I can think of a lot more things I want for 2009. I guess I just want my family to be the best we can be and to love ourselves more and to love others who need loving. That's what I want for 2009. Oh yeah, I want to stop smoking. I know it's bad. I've been trying to quit all 2008. I quit for awhile and then started up again. I think I quit 4 times this past year. So this is another resolution for 2009. Quit Smoking for good!!! I was just thinking about this Christmas season. I haven't been stressed out. I'm typically a mess around the holidays but this year was different and I think it's because I didn't do more than what I'm capable with all my health issues so I didn't over extended myself. I went simple and kept it a fun time. The boy finally relaxed to the Christmas decorations and he finally started liking Santa. Everything is all good. Enjoy this time with family!!! Take care, Peace!!!!

Merry Christmas!

The Curse of the Christmas Season!

I think everything is fine in our house for awhile...like the calm after the storm. Seeing how my family is snowed in today and getting out of our house is out of the question we as in my hubby and I thought it would be cool to pull out the PS3 Karaoke and do some good old fashion singing. The children love it and we get a kick out of doing some really bad singing. It's not like there is anything else to do other than watching children's shows over and over again until you don't have anymore brain cells left....anyway we were having fun and then the daughter disappeared. Nothing wrong with this because she doesn't have to sing if she doesn't want to and she went off and played on her own. The hubby and I were getting into the singing and the boy was joining in the best way a 1 year old can. In between songs I asked the daughter to come in the family room and join us and she said she was playing...okay I told her to have fun!!!!! Awhile later I saw something in her hand that looked like some candy....What? I asked her what it was and she was so excited she got candy for Christmas. You got candy for Christmas and from whom? So as I was walking into the Living Room/ Playroom I saw it... CHRISTMAS gifts unwrapped and opened. Okay, this was funny. Here I am trying to keep a straight face trying to explain why this was wrong but come on, it's not like other children have not done this before. I'm sure I've done this before. I'm surprised she lasted this long with presents under the tree for days and I thought it would be the boy first to get into the gifts. Don't count out the boy he is coming next. So after her telling me she only opened the gifts that had her name on them and she was right by the way, all the gifts she opened had her name on it. Neither I have a 3 year old genus or she was just lucky...hum... have to think which one to believe!!!!! I had to pull out the Mommy card and say it was wrong for opening gifts before Christmas.... it's hard being the mean Mommy at times....yikes and especially before Christmas too. The hubby took her to her room to think about what she did and when they came back she said she was sorry and asked if she could have the candy....lol. That was too funny! So it was calm again and then the boy had to let us know the Train going around our tree was not running. That's fine and told him we stopped running the train when no one was in the room so back to singing some more. Then we heard the boy making his little boy grunts because that's what he does ...grunt. He doesn't talk yet so the hubby went in to see what the problem was and then he SAW the tree.....I don't know what the boy did but our little fake tree was laying on it's side on the floor. Not only was it on it's side but the base to our tree got broken so now it's this pitiful looking lopsided tree. Some of the ornaments got broken but that's okay. Once the boy realized he was in the wrong with a candy cane in his tiny fist which to my the conclusion was the reason the tree was all in disarray preceded to have the facet of tears come strolling down his tiny face. He was so devastated like it was the end of the world as he knew it and all he wanted was a candy cane. Poor little boy!!! So calming this child down was like pulling your hair out so we had to let him cry it out. So now what?... WE can't go anywhere to get a new tree. My guess is I think it's going to be a Charlie Brown Christmas :) It could have been a lot worse!!! Chocolate, presents and then the tree... Is it the Christmas curse? What can go wrong or malfunction next? I guess I will have to wait see!! Take care, Peace!!!!

It's raining chocolate!

Every time this year I buy Chocolate. I know being a Diabetic Chocolate can be your worst best friends but I only splurge this time of the year plus, Valentine's Day, Easter and of course Halloween. This year I decided not to go hog wild and buy the whole store out of there collection of different Holiday Chocolates and went with Lindor Milk Chocolate Truffle's. I would have to say they were amazing. I savored the Chocolate ball as long as I could before it melted in my mouth. The hubby and I enjoyed some while we were watching Bad Boys 2 last night after the kids went to bed.

Today I am sad to say my small box of Chocolate Truffles are no more as in all gone. I should have known to hide them but as a mother I didn't think about it until it was way TOO LATE. I can tell my children are up to no good when the house gets quiet. It's a sound of trouble. I decided to take a break after playing Thomas the Tank Engine with the children and decided to check my email while the kids kept on playing. I didn't hear from them in awhile so I decided to see what they were doing in the other room. The daughter was stuffing something that looked like a red box in her play kitchen and asked her what she was doing at that same moment the son turned around with a chocolate goatee. I then proceeded to ask the daughter what they were doing and her hyper self gave me the lowdown.

Here is the low down what happened from a hyper child of 3. She was hungry and saw the red box on the counter so she took it. She wanted to use it for the tea party with the trains. She then opened the box and unwrapped the ball and ate it. She then gave her brother one because he asked for it (mind you our boy doesn't talk yet). She then preceded to tell me she was going to throw the box out but couldn't because the garbage can was under the sink (which is baby locked for good reason) so she put the box in her kitchen for safe keeping and put the wrappers in there too so her brother wouldn't get to them. Good explanation and I asked her why she didn't ask me to get her something to eat because in our house the children don't go and get food themselves and have to ask me or an adult first. Her answer: the box was pretty! yikes!!!

My first thought was to just punish them but how can you really punish children who are strung out on Chocolate? You can't! They ate the rest of the Chocolate which to 30lbs children was a lot of Chocolate. Yes, my 1 and 3 year old are around the same weight..scary I know. The oldest is tall and skinny, the youngest..well he's just big and solid.

I was actually pleased the daughter decided to share with her little brother with the chocolates and she actually listened after I always harp at her to share with her little bro. It's not something I really wanted her to share with her brother with but it's a start. I'm trying to be positive here seeing how my wonderful Chocolate got hijacked by my children and trying to see some good in this child thieving chocolate stealer's incident. I think I was more disappointed my Chocolate is all gone then the children getting into them. I hope they enjoyed them as much as I did. So Sad!!!

Seeing a light side of my disappearing chocolate .....Children and Chocolate are a very different situation. At least my children are happy when they are strung out on chocolate. I like those kind of kids. It was a hoot and now I should have taken a small video of them running around like they had no control but to laugh at every thing. I think my daughter kidnapped my chocolate because she knows it's mine. I am a fickle of sharing my food of any kind and I know how my daughter thinks because I done the same as a child eating the sweets in hiding knowing I will get caught but who cares they were good in the moment.

So be Merry and have a good Holiday Season even when you have chocolate thieves in your house!! Take care, Peace!

One Moment in Time!

I want one moment in time

When I'm more than I thought I could be

When all of my dreams are a heartbeat away

And the answers are all up to me

Give me one moment in time

When I'm racing with destiny

Then in that one moment of time

I will feel

I will feel eternity

I love these lyrics from a song Whitney Houston sings. It's so true. I love music and how I can lose myself into listening to the words music expresses. I can relate to words like this Whitney Houston song. I've done and experienced things in my life where I just wanted one moment in time to prove my destiny. I didn't know at the time it was all up to me to decide the way I want my life to go. My direction in my life is in my control. However I decide is the way it's going to go. I didn't get it back as a child. I didn't know the way my life would be was my destiny. I'm blessed and proud I got it. I got the message for my eternity. I feel like I'm a Hallmark Card but it's a choice I made along time ago. I don't want to live my life in chaos so guess what? I don't. I work hard to keep my life going down the path I've chosen. It can be easy sometimes falling back into a life I was raised in. It takes a lot of will power to fight some of those behaviours in time seemed like the easy way out but in reality was so much harder to deal with. I'm not an alcohol drinker anymore because when I did drink it was to get drunk. I made horrible decisions which hurt my inner soul to the point I loathed myself which I would hurt myself in other ways because in my heart I wasn't worth being loved from the things I did while I was drunk. I don't do this anymore because it's not a life I want for me or for my family. It's a hard life feeling like less than who you really are.

I've lived to be

The very best

I want it all

No time for less

I've laid the plans

Now lay the chance

Here in my hands

It's never to late to change your destiny if something isn't working in your life. Life is so much brighter knowing you and in YOU are making something of yourself. I can be very judgemental about myself at times thinking I'm not doing enough but stopping and just listening to what my heart has to say reminds me life is supposed to be simple. It's not supposed to be hard where you feel like you can't breath all the time. It took me years to turn my life around. I had to get slapped in the face a lot to finely get it. I could say I wasn't much of a religious person growing up and it's more of a newer thing in the last couple of years but I did believe in faith. I believed I was worth more than I believed in my heart. A lot of good people saw it in me when I didn't and I kept trying to get it. I wanted to believe so bad my life could be better. I made a plan, life goals if you want to look at it like that, and made along list of things I wanted to see for my future.

My List at 14:

Graduate High School so I can get out of dodge

To find hope

Wanting some peace

A better life

My sisters back living with me

I got everything on this list and it took me moving out of the house to get the last goal. These goals were small but then again I was only 14 years old. I graduated High School in 1993 but went back to High School again and got some courses in Business and then left with an award Honor's of Distinction for my hard work.

My List at 23:

Find a man who will treat me well

Get a good job

Go back to school

Get married

Buy a house

Have children

I actually got all those plus so much more. I'm happily married with two children and we live in a nice house. I went back to University in 1998 but didn't finish and I look back with no regrets not finishing school. I had a good job before I moved to the USA which I loved. I'm a SAHM(stay at home mother) and I love it. I complain at times but I wouldn't change a thing. My children are apart of my life and at times they can drive me up the wall but they are teaching me to have more patience and not everything has to be done just right. I'm hoping I'm teaching them to be the best they can be and have fun while they are living there life. It's hard to see the good in life in times of struggles but if you don't learn in those times of struggles you will never know what you want. Learn from people and listen to what they have to say because maybe you will see life in a whole different way from your own. It's never to late to change what's not working right in your life. Believe in yourself because if I can anyone can!! Take care, Peace!!!

Snow has got to go!

I used to be a great lover of snow seeing how I loved to downhill ski. As a kid I would count down until I could hit the slopes and go skiing. My love hate relationship with snow started when I became a young adult with a job and had to stand in a 4 foot snow bank at 6:30am waiting for the public transportation to get me to work. I hated stepping into slushy snow and being cold even when I was all bundled up. I do love a cup of Hot Chocolate so coming home from a hard day of work and having the first of many cups of Hot Chocolate and then looking out the window to a beautiful view of newly powered snow was nice to look at. Snow when it's a inconvenience sucks but when you are warm with a cup of coco also by a nice fire even better. As I got older my relationship with snow started turning to a dislike and the Hot Chocolate wasn't turning my mind how wonderful the winter is. I started looking at snow as some bothersome hindrance in my life so when I took the big plunge to move from Canada to the USA in an area which only sees snow in the Mountains I was like finely no snow unless I wanted to go to it. Well right now we have snow and as I'm writing this it's snowing outside. Global Warming my ass! Our winters are about rain and lots of rain but snow...come on!!!! I thought I escaped the snow and I thought I moved away from the snow. Sure it's nice and beautiful all this white flaky snow coming down but it's a week left for Christmas and I haven't finished everything yet. I have to get out and finish all that's left of my Christmas Shopping. I have a life and this cold snow is not what I asked for. Now I'm stuck in the house because I don't have the heart to go out in this cold getting flash backs from my horrendous experience standing in the freezing cold waiting for a bus in my early 20's. Then again I get anxiety when things are not done so I'll have to bundle up and get out there suffering the cold and get things done. I'm not looking forward to it and now with children my love for snow will come back...who knows really! I may come back next week raving what a beautiful white Christmas we had... things always change and so does peoples views on such matters. So hating snow to the love of snow.... I guess I'll wait and see. Take care, Peace!!

Preschool! and Please Donate..not to me but to St. Jude Children Research Hospital!

Well I think we decided where our oldest will be going to preschool in the fall 2009. I think it's crazy how we have to decide like in January like it's University or something. Tear! I can't believe my daughter is going to school in the fall. I remember when she was born and it doesn't seem that long ago. She's growing up so fast and oh my, I'm getting a little emotional...okay not really but it's exciting. The hubby and I found a preschool which is also a Dance Academy and I think our daughter will love it. She's into wanting to be a ballerina at the moment and she's even asking for point shoes....ha ha. I don't think so little girl!!!! It's hard telling a 31/2 year old about being a ballet dancer and it's like stabbing yourself with a fork over and over again because she doesn't care about having to train with lessons for years before she even can get into point shoes let alone care about talking to me about the ins and outs of lessons and practice. One of these days maybe she will listen to me. sigh!!!! So when January rolls around we will register her for this amazing school. I was actually surprised how much the school costs and is one of the reasons we choose it. It's in the higher range as far as preschools are concerned in our area but it's like a 2 in 1. She learns through excellence in education, dance and gymnastics. Everything we hoped for and more, plus the Gymnastic classes are USA gymnastics certified. Here So when you look at it like that it's actually cheaper. Dance classes are not cheap and neither is preschool. I could complain about preschool but I'm not going too. It's my birthday tomorrow and it's so close to Christmas. I don't want to ruin my Karma I have going on :) Jon and Kate plus 8 is having there Holiday special visiting St. Jude Children Research Hospital Here on Monday, December 15, 2008. It's a great cause and if you don't watch the show so who cares it's a nice cause so visit there site and maybe while you are there maybe you could donate to this wonderful charity to help: Finding Cures. Saving Children. A little goes along way. Take care, Peace! Goodnight!!!!

Embarassing moments in life!

Okay, I tend to do things in my life neither turns my face red or embarrass myself just out of being clumsy and just out right a dumbass. I try to brush it off as nothing because it's so embarrassing in the end I have to laugh at myself. I try to not take anything serious because most of the time I tend to see things in a fun light. I will write some of my embarrassing moments and most of them are truly funny. I will jump from past to present and all in between. The first embarrassing moment was when my BFF and I went on our trip to California. We saved our money so we could have a great time but this trip also had many of embarrassing moments. The hotel we stayed at had a restaurant and had some good looking guys working there and this one day I was drinking a glass of water and the ice in the glass splashed the water all over my 19 year old pretending to be all that and a cute waiter coming over asking me if I wanted more water when half of the glass of water was on my face. Can you say go hide under a rock. How cool is this situation? Not so smooth and more like awkward. The next time was coming back on the airplane from San Francisco to Toronto. We took the red eye flight out so everyone was quiet and my BFF wanted something to drink so I was going to go up and get her a drink but when I was about to get up I burped and sneezed at the same time so it was loud and not only that a mother with her baby just managed to get her baby to sleep and I made the baby cry. Lets just say I didn't get up and I tried to hide in my small airplane seat. How crazy is that making a baby cry? I felt so bad and it's not like I could go anywhere because I was on an airplane. My hubby and I got into a Habit every time we saw a Police Car we would go "oh there's the Po Po","Five oh, Five Oh". I know it's lame and it wasn't to disrespect the Police or anything but more like goofing around in the car. Lets just say we don't do it anymore. When my daughter was 15 months old we always took a daily walk to our neighbourhood grocery store and the local Police Officers would hang out at Baha Fresh for lunch and this one day my daughter who was 15 months remember decided to yell out "momma, look the Po Po", of course, they all turned around and looked at us. I almost died of embarrassment. I came back and said, yes Police Officers and got the hell out of there. We don't do the goofing in the car anymore or say anything like that anymore. Man, children are definitely like sponges. It just amazes me how she put Po Po with Police Officer because we never actually pointed out a Police Officer and said there's the Po Po. We definitely learned our red faced lesson on this one. I didn't realize how long with children distractions this entry would take so long so this is my last embarrassing moment. I may even do a entry or two on all embarrassing moments because I have plenty to write a thick book about on them. I can't remember how old I was at the time. I think it's more like I want to forget my age because at the time I just wanted to hide in the mud I was laying in. (no pun intended) :) A friend of mine owned a horse and this particular day the guys summer soccer team were practicing at the High School field and we as in my friends were hanging out watching them play and for some reason I asked if I could ride the horse. I rode a pony before and in my head thinking what an expert I am in my life growing up on a farm as a little wee one. Okay I was 5 years old when I last rode on a pony. I just said a pony. I thought in my pee brain I knew what I was doing taking a ride on a Horse!! She said yes, so the next thing I remember the horse took off down to the Elementary School Field. I tried to stop it and then in a panic I was screaming for the horse to stop and then it did but I didn't stay up on the said horse but FLEW over the head of the horse and landed in a thick layer of mud with the whole guys soccer team watching me. This scene would have been perfect on "America's Funniest Home Videos" or "You Tube". At least, I remembered to stay still so the scared Horse wouldn't trample me. The one thing is it was during the summer and I could have hid in my room all summer but unfortunate for me I was a soccer player and had to hear about it for weeks from all the guys. Now, it's funny but not so much back then! Whatever embarrassing moments you have in your life, it's easier to just have a good laugh even when it involves you. Take care, Peace! Edit: I remembered this last embarrassing moment and it is pretty funny. I used to be involved in lots of different sports as a kid, from swimming, basketball, soccer, and of course downhill skiing. Between soccer and downhill I would say they were my favorite sports. This one time our 7th grade class decided to go downhill skiing for a school trip or was it the 9th grade. I can't remember but I thought I was good, okay I was good but this particular day I wanted to show off. My friends and I would have races to see who could get down to the bottom of the hill first and this one day I hit an ice patch and my left ski fell off and I tumbled a good distance down the hill. AS I looked up half of the chair lift was watching me do some Olympic tumble down the hill. I'm sure it looked like a horrendous fall because I most likely looked like a pathetic rag doll doing gymnastics down the hill and when I stopped I was fine but it was pretty embarrassing when I was bragging how a great skier I was before the trip. I got teased for this one but at least, I didn't sprain my ankle in my ski boot like a friend of mine did. Neither her boot was too big or she didn't tighten her boot properly. Making an ass out of myself is my speciality!

It looks like a lot like Christmas!

Like the picture..this is our Christmas tree this year.. :) lol

Finished with the 24hr blood pressure test. Tomorrow I'll drop it off and then in a few days later I will get the results back. Our plans have changed for this weekend. This was supposed to be MY Christmas shopping weekend to get gifts for Toys for Tots, the children picking out gifts for each other and everything else on my shopping list. I wanted to do it all and be done with and now Friday evening will be my only shopping day because apparently it's supposed to snow this weekend and for an area with drivers who get mental anxiety with snow I think it would be smart to stay off the roads so we're not going anywhere Saturday and Sunday. I don't mind only having Friday because Fridays my day and I don't know what will happen when Stargate Atlantis is over in January but I still love Fridays. Nothing can stop me from having a good Friday and if it stinks I still know Stargate Atlantis is on in the night and anytime I get a Joe Flanigan fix ALways puts a smile on my face. Man, that guy is hot! I just hope I can get everything done in one night. Cross my fingers... it's in the planning and I can handle a good challenge. I can do this :)

I feel like I have so much to do so I made a list because that's what I do make lists of things to do but when I was done doing my list I realized I don't have all that much to do but when you don't have a lot of energy the small amount of things to do on my list feels like along page worth of things to do. It takes me days just to do something that I used to be able to do in just one.

I had my bible study today and my daughter loves our friend who comes over. She gets so excited about it and it's special for her because she doesn't go down for her quiet time until after 4pm. After I was done I decided to go around like a mad women and tidy the house. Everything is in a place and the kitchen is clean. I'm sitting here watching some TV, writing this entry and now I'm thinking how long will the clean house last. I bet maybe 15 minutes after the children wake up. It's nice however it lasts. AT least, I know it was done!

So I don't like talking about my Birthday but my daughter is excited my birthday is on Monday and she even has a countdown calendar. It's so cute but I think it's because we're having cupcakes to celebrate and my birthday lands on our Date Night. The daughter and I every week have a date night together where we just do something special together just the two of us. It's nice and I know it makes the daughter feel special and we started doing this Date Night once the son was born. Sometimes life is busy and things can be crazy but stopping for these moments and doing the little things makes it even more special. We will keep having Date Night until the time "tear" when the daughter doesn't want to do it anymore. So, yeah my birthday is coming!

24hr blood pressure!

I got the call on Friday for my appointment to do my 24hr blood pressure test so Today of my amazement having an appointment so soon I went and got hooked up today. I think the machine isn't working so in the morning I will call and find out what I need to do like take the long drive across town and go back in for a new one or if I'm okay. I kind of figured this test would be simple like any in office blood pressure machine going off every 15 minutes. My daughter thinks I'm broken and thinks it's weird I have to wear this cuff on my arm. Every time I do anything Doctor related I have a lot of guilt for my daughter. Half of her life I've been sick and I know she's smart but she understands her mother is sick and most of the time I know it's not in my control but she's 3. Our children don't go to the Doctor's office as much anymore if we can get the hubby's mother to come over to babysit. So she's not exposed to the many of Doctor appointments as much as she used to but she's full aware where I'm going. I would lie to her but that's not helping her in the long run and my pregnancy nurse advised us when I was pregnant with the son to just be up front and give a basic explanation what's going on and don't make it sound like a big deal. So doing this I hope it's not affecting her like I think in my guilty head sometimes. I'm hoping this is causing the severe fatigue, dizziness, fainting spells and the headaches. I learned from Thursdays neurology appointment this is something different from the diabetes and anemia. Fixing this new medical problem should help and I'm slowing understanding the Anemia will be something I will have to live with for along time. I'm taking the procrit once a week and this drug keeps my cbc readings in the range the hematologist likes so the anemia is stable for now. I just don't like the uncertainty with all these medical problems but so far tests have come back normal. I am blessed I don't have any form of cancer. Life is good. I'll write about more stuff later. Dinner is ready! Take care, Peace!

I'm feeling the Holiday spirit!

It's been a busy few days in our household. I'm tired so this entry will be short. I have no more energy and I'm sitting here in a quiet house watching some kid show on the Disney channel because I'm just to lazy to change the channel. The hubby and daughter went to the train store because our Hogwarts Express Train we have going around our tree is acting weird so he wants it to be looked at. Our son is down for his nap up in his room. All morning our son was freaking out about all the decorations and he is indifferent about all the Christmas cheer. Our Santa who reads "Tis the night before Christmas" wasn't much of a hit with our son and last night our daughter wanted to hear the story and he freaked out and we had to turn the story off. I have a feeling our son will have anxiety through out the whole holiday season. He doesn't like much of anything related to Christmas. Our daughter on the other hand loves every part of it from putting the tree together, setting up all the decorations and listening to Christmas music. She wrote her Christmas letter to Santa on Friday and mailed it off. I'm so proud of her for signing her own name on her letter. She's been practicing for months for this very moment and she did great spelling her own name and printing it. Makes a mother proud. Have a great time with life and chat with you'll later. Take care, Peace!

The Doctor came the knocking!

Well my Neurology appointment is done and over. After an hour of answering 101 questions I went through some small and painless simple tests like touch my nose with my eyes closed and walk in a straight line etc ..like how Police Officers make you do various tests after pulling you over for drunk driving and it's not like I was pulled over for drinking and driving for knowing these tests....seriously I saw it happen on lots of cop shows. DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE! This is my contribution.

Okay so after the questions and answers part and my silly tests were done the Doctor informs me my symptoms are not due to my brain. Yeah, I have a healthy brain but my hubby thinks that's the Doc's interpretation :) Okay the Doctor does think I have a condition called Orthostatic Hypotension. What is that you may ask? Orthostasis means upright posture, and hypotension means low blood pressure. Thus, orthostatic hypotension consists of symptoms of dizziness, faintness or lightheadedness which appear only on standing, and which are caused by low blood pressure. Only rarely is spinning vertigo caused by orthostasis. What causes this you maybe thinking? The heart pumps blood, and if there is too little blood volume (anemia, dehydration, dialysis), the pressure drops. The blood vessels in the body also can squeeze (constrict) to raise blood pressure, and if this action is paralyzed, blood pressure may fall. How fun for me but I have to get tested for it first and what they do is hook me up to a blood pressure monitor for 24 hr and see if it fluctuates drastically. yikes! And at least it is treatable with medications and it's not like I don't already take a zillion pills already so taking more isn't a big deal. It's just a vicious cycle how Anemia is a serious disease to have. I don't really understand any of this Doctor mumbo jumbo but if it means fixing my broken body then I'm all for anything at this point. Finally, it's been along day with hope! Take care,Peace!

I'm lazy not busy!

Tomorrow is my appointment and I should be excited but who really likes going to the Doctor's because I don't. It's a pain in my ass and each time I go it's the same deal over and over again but I am hoping I get answers this time around. Life seems busy lately but I could use this excuse but I'm just plain lazy and I know I'm slowing down on my entries but my excuse is I'm lazy and don't feel like it and second my laptop keyboard is acting up and keys are sticking so it's hard to type things out. Oh well, the hubby comes back tonight and he'll fix my computer. He's in the computer business so it's his speciality but then again he gets back really late tonight and maybe in the New Year my computer may get fixed...lol. Christmas is coming closer and I'm getting excited just like a little kid waiting for Santa to come. I haven't done any shopping yet but I still have time. Well I'm getting tired so the next time I will bitch and complain about what happened at my appointment. Hopefully Friday because Friday is my day and I'll be of great spirit knowing Stargate Atlantis will be on. So listen to Christmas music, relax, stop stressing and have a great day!! Take care, Peace!!!

Water Intoxication and Thomas!

My daughter loves Thomas the Tank Engine and has a very large collection of toys, DVD's and clothes so it's just normal to go to The Day out with Thomas. Last June we planned to go on a Saturday morning. Our train ride on Thomas was at 5:00pm but we never been to one event before so we didn't realize we didn't have to be there at 10:00am. On June 28th we got up early and headed to our destination an hour away. We found the parking lot and it was close to 100 degrees on this morning. We didn't care because we had water. Our daughter was excited she would get to go on a school bus. Parking was far from the train depot so it was wise to ride the bus because the walk would have been up a very steep hill and with a double stroller well it would have been crazy. Lets just say it was hot that day well over than hot. Being a diabetic I am prone to get dehydrated on hot days so I didn't want to ruin the day for the family so I decided to drink water and stay in the shade as much as I could. I didn't want to get sick so water was my drink of choice for the day. I also don't do good in the sun and the sun was shining bright this day so of course I was scared of dehydration and getting sun stroke. A smart person should have stayed inside with air conditioning on a hot day like that day but this was for my daughter and the excitment on her face I had to have fun with the family doing Thomas activities with our children. We managed to do everything in one hour because that's how small the event was so passing the time for the rest of the day was a challenge but we managed. Around 4:00pm I started feeling sick and at first I thought it was the heat so I drank more water and kept it coming. I just wanted to get through the train ride because that's why we were there to ride on Thomas. My daughter was so excited and the look on her face I couldn't go home now and it was so close to 5:00pm so resting in the shade until we could get on the train but by then it was a little too late. By the time we got on the train I was sick. The whole half hour train ride I was puking up water. I was sick and my first thought was I got sunstroke. I thought I was careful all day staying in the shade as much as I could and drank huge amounts of water all day. I finally told my hubby I needed medical attention right away. Someone called the ambulance and it was waiting for me when the train ride was over. All I remember was getting into the ambulance and that was the last thing I remember until hours later. Here is some information off of Wikipedia of water intoxication: HERE

Water intoxication (also known as hyperhydration or water poisoning) is a potentially fatal disturbance in brain functions that results when the normal balance of electrolytes in the body is pushed outside of safe limits by over-consumption of water.

My doctor said because of the heat that day and the large amount of water I drank during the day had a factor how I landed in the hospital. My kidney's couldn't process all the water I was drinking so they shut down to protect themselves from damage so in turn my brain function got messed up as to the why I don't remember anything after a certain period. I didn't know you can die from drinking too much water. Yikes!! As long as they can catch it in time Doctor's can save you and reverse the affects of the water intoxication. The first stop was at the local Hospital. I heard after the fact I got a MRI, Cat Scan and a Spinal Tap done while I was there thinking maybe I had a stroke. I was transferred to my Health care Provider's Hospital in the middle of the night and was pumped with sodium drips and other medicines to balance out my electrolytes and make sure my kidney function was stable before I could go home. I spend Sunday in the hospital and was allowed to go home on Monday. It was a scary time waking up in the hospital and not knowing what happened to me. Geez, all you hear about is being careful when it's really hot and drink lots of water so you don't get dehydrated but what they should tell people is to drink lots of water but spread it out through out the day and drink drinks like Gatorade etc.. is better. I never in a million years would have thought about having water overdose but I guess it makes sense when you can overdose on drugs and alcohol so why not water. Strange!

Well I learned my lesson and even though my daughter wasn't all that traumatized with my run to the hospital in an ambulance she did tell me in the hospital that maybe next time I shouldn't ride on Thomas. She's so cute. So I had to let her know Thomas didn't make me sick and it was an accident. We had a great time watching the children enjoy the Thomas experience and if we decide to go in 2009 I will know how to take better care of myself in the heat and what drink to have and I have to REMEMBER to space out my drinks thought out the day and eat foods with sodium in it. So next time you are out in a hot day don't drink too much water in a short period of time because drinking too much water can be fatal. Take care, Peace!

My Brain is fried!

It's one of those days where I'm walking the walk but not having any clue if anything is working upstairs in the brain of mine. Life is moving forward but I think my brain is legging behind on vacation somewhere else. I kept forgetting what day of the Month today is. I know it's the 25th now but for the life of me every time I was making my list of things to do I kept writing down the 27th. It could be Thanksgiving lands on the 27th this year so I have that date glued into my brain but I was getting my days mixed up and confusing myself. I think I need a Calendar instead of using the one on my cell phone because sometimes I don't even know the day of the week at times unless it's Friday because for one it's Friday. Maybe I just have selective hearing so to speak but with my to do list so I just forget because the list gets longer and longer and forgetting the day makes it seem like it's not a lot to do. I don't know but my to do list is giving me anxiety but it's all good. I'm hoping to have the house cleaned and ready to decorate for the Holidays by December 6th. I wanted it done by the 1st of December but the Hubby has to go to California for work for a few days. I thought he wasn't going to go but plans changed and he has to go again. He leaves next Monday. So I can't do all the decorating by myself for I will die of fatigue.

The hubby and I are taking the children to see Santa tomorrow. We were going to skip it this year because last year was scary crazy and the children didn't have a great experience with Santa. I think it was for me anyway having their picture with Santa but this year my daughter wants to go see Santa. She informed me this evening she wasn't scared anymore and wants to tell Santa want she wants this year for Christmas. I can't pass it up so Santa here we come.

Thanksgiving is on Thursday and the family is going to get together with the rest of the family to celebrate the holiday which will be fun. Don't expect to see me out and about on Friday. I stay away from all shopping and hide like a hermit on this time of the year. The crazy shoppers come out full force on this day and I want nothing to do with it.

Our family has a special animal friend staying with us. She came on Sunday morning and leaves tomorrow but to our daughters delight she comes back on Friday to stay for a week while her human parents go away to Mexico for a well deserved vacation. We babysit her every so often and she is a joy to have while she stays with us. Our daughter loves this dog and I like how she sleeps better while the dog is here then any other time. I think we may need to think about getting a dog but I don't think our cats would like us very much if we got a family dog. Our first cat is a talker and we enjoyed her chatter but when we got our second cat she stopped talking to us. She finally forgave us and then our daughter came so can you see the pattern? She finally forgave us for one more cat and two children so I think she would never forgive us if we got a puppy. I think it would be the end of her... :) She was our first kitty baby and knows her rank of things like the mother of all bosses. See above picture. She's our first princess! So having our guest is great. She stays for awhile and then goes home again. Well maybe my brain isn't all that fried just at the right times I guess.

I filled out my form for my Neurology appointment next week and they ask the craziest questions like why do you think you are seeing a Neurologist? I don't know my Doctor told me so!!! How are you supposed to answer that question? I understand asking all the basic questions and I finally have accepted the nagging of repeating myself over and over again but I understand why they do this repeat of questions every time you see someone new in the medical profession. It's crazy stupid but I understand! At one point I thought I should tape my whole medical history and what prescription drugs and vitamins I take so I wouldn't have to repeat myself over and over again. It's quite annoying and I'm starting to get used to it which is sad in itself because since the start of my first pregnancy to now I spend a large portion of my time in a Medical Office for some appointment or another. Don't get me started why I landed myself in the Hospital last June. Who ever thought you can drink too much water? I know you can because it happened to me. I think I will wait and write an entry on my medical antics and who knows maybe someone would actually come and read my blog and have some answers for me. Yikes!!! Take care, Peace!

Monkey See is Monkey Do!

Well it's been a hard week and I feel like I'm burning the candle on both ends but what can I do. I can cry and complain or I can realize I can't do anything about it and do the best I can. I shouldn't be shocked the way our society is and with free will we can say and do whatever we want as long as we're not breaking any laws, that being said I just don't understand how some people can be so mean and vindictive against people they don't even know. I'm not a professional in the matter of the way the brain works or know why people do what they do. But I do understand when it's time to shut up and mind your own business. From another site I go to regularly posted the link to the latest article online about the Gosselin's so I went because I was interested in reading it. Now online you can leave comments about the article and give your opinion. With anything you have people who approve the article and then the one's who don't. Typically surrounding any Gosselin Family related article more so Kate Gosselin you have the witch hunters following suit just so they are the first in line to write out their well thought words expressing the Greed of these people. Well if I was someone who didn't know information about these people written in the article I would want to read all the comments to get a better understanding of peoples views and thoughts on the matter. It's just me! I came to the understanding some people who left those hateful comments have far bigger issues then disliking The Gosselin Family. I would like to quote some of the comments from the not so kind people: These 2 pathetic idiots are complete liars and users. These two are lazy, uneducated welfare trash. These are a couple of lazy crooks. But, the parents are pimps. Never, those kids are going to suffer from being sold by their parents. Stupid for thinking for one minute that your readers would believe any of it. It is time to send these scam artists back where they came from and give those poor children some peace. What is it with you media shills and your continued fascination/adoration with these two lazy frauds? Give me a break! This woman is a bozo and claiming she shows how it is done is so laughable. I think the Gosselins are the laziest creatures on the planet and live only for freebies. These were some parts of comments from the new article of Redbook: Here I don't know about you but I don't understand how people can be so wrapped up in spewing such hatred and it sounds more like jealousy and a malicious witch hunt to bring down a family they don't even know with only information off a hate site from gossip and hearsay spread by people online who only want to watch a family crash and burn. They are trying to get their voice heard by spreading more lies and innuendo all are under the pretense of calling it child advocacy for the love of the children. I don't see love here for any child. How is it love to hurt and slander the parents at the same time trying your best to protect those children? How is that considered helping? More sounds like you haters need some professional help to figure out why you are so hostel and angry. Comments like that just makes you sound ignorant and crazy!! JMO GosselinsWithOutPity: Here or short "GWOP": urban slang (A slang term for currency that exists among street level hoods. Generally, many small bills folded together to give the appearance of a larger amount of money than it usually is.) Funny how things really appear and going to this site of the so called "Child Advocates" you may want to be worried just the fact these people are serious if you can manage going through the hundreds of comments with "Anon poster" you wonder how many are actually posting or it just looks like a mass of persons are posting. Seems fishy but some people enjoy this kind of life! Who's for me to judge? :) I don't know the Gosselin's from the show Jon and Kate plus 8 on the TLC channel. I just know they are a family who agreed to do a Reality TV show surrounding their family good, bad and the ugly. From watching the show you are seeing a glimpse into their lives and they go on all expensive paid trips for the understanding its free advertisement for the resort. They have corporations giving them merchandise for free advertisement during their show. They make a Salary doing the Reality TV show and get perks and it's part of the business. I couldn't tell you if the rumor's are true or not because I don't know Jon and Kate. Do I want to believe the rumor's are true and accept the fact these parents are the pit of evil?, no I can't. We all see what we want to see and sometimes life isn't fair. I'm not in the business to hurt a families success in the manner of slander. That's the one thing about TV and if you don't like something you are watching all you can do is turn the channel. Simple as that or if you can't control yourself and have to watch but still think you have to save the Gosselin Children then go and get a Bill passed to protect children in Reality TV shows and grow up! Okay I'm tired now and whatever happens with this family I wish them the best! Take care, Peace!

Christmas!

I can't believe I'm talking about the up and coming Holidays. It's not Thanksgiving yet here in the states but the daughter is watching all the toy commericals and I have to hear everything she wants and at the same time I have to let her know in our family we don't have a free for all of how many presents she's going to get. I want to keep to the meaning of what our beliefs are in our home. Christmas is about giving, sharing and being with family. When my daughter was a baby my hubby and I decided to do a new tradition and go buy toys for children who wouldn't have a gift under the tree. She was 8 months old and I thought she was going to scream when she saw the Marines in front of ToysRus but she didn't and handed over the toys we picked out. She enjoyed it and we've been doing it every year since. I kind of look forward to it every year and the daughter had a blast last season and for a girl her age she understood the toys she was picking out were not for her and handed over the toys with grace. It made me think I am doing something right as a mother. Now each child had there first Christmas and this season won't be ridiculous with gifts like last year as seen in the picture above. Last season was crazy with presents in our home because of the son's first Christmas so with a new year we are going back to simple like we planned before having children. I think the meaning what Christmas is about gets lost in receiving the latest "IT" toy and not the understanding that some people can't afford to feed their families. My hubby and I are blessed to have a nice home with food on our plates so knowing we are helping not only at Christmas but year round the meaning of giving without receiving something back is important to teach our children they are not the only children in the world and to appreciate what they have and not what they think they should have. We will have a great Christmas and hope all who celebrates do also.. Take Care,Peace!

Music is good Therapy!

Wow, Three entries today and where do I find the time for this? :) Okay, the kids are taking there nap time so as a mother I do have time to ponder my life and guess what? I'm listening to music. Who wouldn't guess that? I love Project Playlist :http://www.playlist.com/?home=a I wouldn't call myself computer savvy but this website makes it so easy to download music and up load it to any website of your choice where your music player is on. I have two music players one here and the other one is on my facebook account. It's so easy to add more songs to your player. Pick your song and Bam it's on your player and you don't even need to update or copy and paste to add your songs. My idea of easy. Most of my songs on my blog are inspiring to me or a song with some great memory of mine like the last one I just up loaded "Somewhere out there". Years ago when I was just 14 years old my sister and I sang this song which was recorded in one of those music booths at Great America in San Jose, California one summer visiting our Grandparents. I love this song and it gives me some pleasure that life is special with great memories. I hang on to these memories because life can be cruel and heartless but these are memories no one can take away. It's a time to feel alive and remember their are times when the happiness shines through. I love singing and I may not be good but who cares really. It's not like I'm on some stage trying to win some votes but singing in my own home having a good time. I'm a musically driven' person with passion for sappy music. Okay I like other music besides sappy..okay 95% sappy and the other 5% whatever they play on the radio. I like the message behind the songs and it's why a lot of the songs I love have strong meaning to me. I may like a song because of the beat but most of the time it's what's being sung in the story of the music. I like to be inspired and most of the songs on my music player gives motivation for hope, love and happiness. We all have feelings and sometimes good, bad and indifferent and my sense of peace is expressing my life with music. So if you want to listen to my songs I find give me inner peace I put them on here for you to enjoy also. They may not be music you may listen to but it never hurts to try something new. Enjoy!

Inner Thoughts!

Disclaimer: Adult content and read with your own discretion! I decided to do this entry because it's important for me to write about Child Abuse and now it can change someone so personally who has gone through it including me. I think it's important to put a face to the inner struggles of what happens when a child is verbally and emotionally abused. I just want to write about the feelings behind Child Abuse and how secretive it can be for someone who is going through it. It's shameful not wanting people to know you were abused like thinking people will think you are a weak person or scared someone will not believe you or because you are so torn down you just don't want to talk about it. Whatever the reasons people keep it private is there own inner struggles. I'm in a place right now I can talk about it and share with anyone who reads this how hard and painful child abuse is and I'll like to express my thoughts on the matter. My parents betrayed me. Simple as that! They manipulated my sense of self worth. They put expectations on me beyond my capacity. Bruises to the body fade a way but bruises to the heart last a lifetime. My parents abuse set me up to become trapped in the viscous cycle of shame, suffering and self-abuse. The mental anguish I feel on a daily basis because of how I was treated is heart breaking. They always put their needs before mine. They never listened to my needs or wants. They never took responsibility for hurting me the way they did. I felt trapped and I couldn’t even fight back because they kept me vulnerable by diminishing my feelings. They were controlling, manipulative and because of that my heart was destroyed. If someone says they love you, you should feel like they love you! What a concept! Obvious, like "Duh" of course it should. I don’t feel like my parents ever loved me in the sense of what love is. They squeezed my heart to the point I couldn’t breath. I felt pressured to be someone I wasn’t. They made me so confused of what they were trying to teach me. I was uncomfortable, nervous and kept watching what I did or say around them. It was like walking on eggshells all the time living in there home. I didn’t feel alive like I was some object they could use whenever they wanted. I only let people see what I want them to see. I have a very hard time letting people know how I feel in the moment because I was never taught those lessons in life. I’ve been trying to teach myself to say what I really mean when I’m in my most desperate state of mind. When I get my feelings hurt today I have a hard time expressing how I feel and I can’t get the words out. I was never allowed to do that as a teenager. I got angry, shame of me. If I was hurting I kept it to myself. The pain I’m feeling so deep down inside, it just hurts when I even try to get down to the middle of it. Here is a poem I wrote back in 2004. When I can't express my feelings with a voice I write out the words on paper to give me a better understanding what I have to work on and what needs to be put to rest. We all have our life paths. I've gone through a lot and I'm happy to say my outcome turned out great with hard work, dedication and love in my life not only love from others but from learning to love myself in the process of healing my heart.

Desperation By DEW The undying pain inside of me wants to be hidden forever It’s too great and all I can say is "Whatever!" I feel like I’m dying inside although I act so strong on the outside I gave my heart and soul to be touched by love even losing some of my pride I’m living somewhere between full of dreams and dreadful hell I wish the pain would cave in itself inside of me and kill that part as well The blood so fresh and the cut so real Only others that hurt like me only know how I really feel You can never understand the pain within Until you understand where I have been I don’t know how to escape these feelings inside. I look around as I run but there is no place to hide. The risks and chances I have taken. Time and again I have been mistaken. What is this place of anger and fear? What freedom of expression do I have but these tears? I’m the one feeling the hurt behind close doors Agony spoken without words and these are my trophies from past wars. Each shred of hope gets lost in all or nothingness. Pain that follows erases each hint of happiness. Losing my innocent so early by the big boss Nobody knows that I’m just a little girl lost Somebody shoot me and put me out of my misery I will even go out and buy all the artillery I can’t seem to get out of my despair I don’t like feeling like this, it’s bothering me I swear I don’t want to feel more pain than the one I feel within That’s why I work so hard to be so very thin I’m so tired, really tired, and I’m out of breath Striving to be thin will only end me by death.

Who could ever believe I wrote that shit but I did and it can be hard to read and sometimes I can’t believe it all came out of me. Sometimes I don't cry anymore but most times I'm still that child of pain. Don't get me wrong and it still hurts even though its been years and at times the tears are in my throat wanting to come out. I hope I expressed my thoughts and people can understand them. It’s difficult to write out your feelings and to use the right words on what you want to say but I think I did it. I’m not saying at the end of the poem I want to die in the literal sense but more of like an expression. No matter how painful child abuse is and how destructive and mentally frustrating it is we all can do our part and be there for someone who needs a hand to reach out too. Anyone who is struggling to put there life back together after Child Abuse should know I care and I'll listen! Here is my hand and all you have to do is take it! Take care, Peace!

Imagination Movers!

Anyone with children probably have come across this show on the Disney channel the Imagination Movers. At first I was thinking not another show going to make me lose brain cells but after watching this show with my daughter who loves this show and never misses it at 10:00am every morning and after some crying and tantrums I decided to give my thumbs up and give it a shout out on behalf of my daughter seeing how this show is her favorite of all time.

From there website: http://www.imaginationmovers.com/website/

What would happen if the Beastie Boys collaborated with Mr. Rogers?

The answer is found on the Imagination Movers' critically acclaimed CDs “Calling All Movers,” “Good Ideas” and "Eight Feet" and the DVD “Stir It Up.”The Movers sing about messy rooms, healthy snacks, sibling rivalry and other topics that relate to being a little kid. Their musical style, however, would sound right at home on a weekly MTV countdown.The Movers – Rich, Scott, Dave and Smitty -- began in New Orleans in 2003 and now are fast-rising stars on the national kids music scene thanks to their combination of radio-friendly songs, kid-friendly themes and dynamic live shows. In concert, the Movers teach high-energy dances, play games with the audience and make music on their one-of-a-kind trashcan drumset. Kids and parents help perform new kids classics like “Shakable You,” “The Medicine Song,” “What’s in the Fridge?” and “I Want My Mommy (Time for Bed).”The Movers are a big hit on XM Kids national satellite radio, where they have launched three songs to the top of the charts. They have also won a total of 14 national music awards and were named a “Parenting Pick” by Parenting Magazine in May 2005. An ongoing tour of U.S. cities creates new Movers fans (affectionately known as “Gearheads”) in the wake of every show.In September 2008, Disney Channel debuted a new television series featuring Rich, Scott, Dave and Smitty as blue-collar brainstormers working hard to solve “idea emergencies” in their Idea Warehouse, a clearinghouse of infinite inspirations. Through songs, stories and skits, Imagination Movers moves kids to exercise their bodies and brains.Movers audio and video encourages kids to “reach high, think big, work hard and have fun!” The Movers themselves are leading by example as they captivate new fans daily with their winning sound and style.

Meet the Movers: Mover Rich is the Movers’ multi-instrumentalist and the man behind the controls in the recording studio. Originally from the Washington, D.C. area, Collins relocated to New Orleans in the early 1990s to form the rock group Dubly. The Movers’ unique “junk” drum set is a hybrid of the setups used by street performers in D.C. and New Orleans. Collins is married with five children. In the Idea Warehouse, Rich’s drum sticks double as "Scribble Sticks," which can be used to draw pictures and words right on the TV screen. Mover Scott is an award-winning elementary school teacher, Durbin first dreamed up the idea for "Imagination Movers" in 2003. Inspired by Mr. Rogers and Captain Kangaroo, Durbin's goal is to bring strong male role models to children's programming. The son of a military chaplain, Durbin grew up all over the world, including Thailand, Washington, D.C. and San Antonio, before his family settled in New Orleans when he was in second grade. He continued to travel throughout high school and college, studying abroad in both Japan and Denmark. The mandolin playing Durbin credits these adventures with giving him the ability to see things from a variety of perspectives, a trait he brings to the series through his characteristic "Wobble Goggles."Prior to the Movers, Durbin was an award-winning teacher, earning the New Teacher of the Year award from Isidore Newman School and a Teacher of the Year award from the St. Charles Parish public school district. He received an undergraduate degree in religious studies from Centenary College of Louisiana, and a graduate teaching certificate from the University of New Orleans. Durbin's interest in music stems from his childhood and the time he spent as the front man for various alternative bands throughout the 80's and 90's.Mover Scott is married with two wonderful kids. Mover Dave is an architect by trade, Poche was part of the design team for the New Orleans Saints practice facilities and also designed various New Orleans-based banks, office buildings and hotels. He most recently worked on several designs that are part of the post-Katrina rebuild efforts. As 'Imagination Mover Dave,' Poche is the Movers' "jack-of-all-trades," using his red gadget hat as a storage device for a variety of objects, many of which he uses to make his cool gizmos and contraptions. Poche is also responsible for creating the concept of the Warehouse Mouse puppet, a mainstay in the series. An active father, he has taken time from his busy schedule to serve as a Cub Scout den leader as well a coach for his children’s T-ball, basketball and soccer teams.While he has no formal theatrical or musical training, Poche did fiddle with the bass briefly in college and has a colorful performance background that includes a stint as a stand-up comic. Like his fellow Movers, he is inspired by 1980s and '90s rock, pop and alternative music and by his front-lines experience dealing with his children's sleepless nights, messy playrooms and other growing pains. Originally from Baton Rouge, Poche received his degree from Louisiana State University and moved to his wife's hometown of New Orleans 13 years ago. Despite losing their home to Hurricane Katrina, the couple has returned to the New Orleans area where they currently reside with their two young children. Mover Smitty, a New Orleans firefighter, has spent the past five years as part of Engine 7 on Basin Street and was a part of the Hurricane Katrina search-and-rescue effort. While he was the only Mover not to lose his home to the storm, his firehouse was destroyed and continues to operate out of a trailer.Guitarist Smith is the adventurous outdoorsman of the group; growing up in Southern Louisiana, he hunted and fished every weekend as a child, and continues to do so in his spare time. He's also an avid hiker and enjoys exploring America's National Parks. Smith brings his outdoor experiences to the group by blowing duck and goose calls on some of the band’s songs, including "I Heard That."An English Literature graduate of the University of New Orleans, Smith's given Mover prop is his trusty journal, which represents his Indiana Jones-like scholarly personality and is used as a resource when the Movers are trying to solve a problem. A New Orleans native, Smith resides in the city with his wife and two dogs. With a group of guys who sing, dance and who teach my children to learn to solve problems at the same time having a great time is a show I enjoy my children to watch. It amazes me how I enjoy watching this show with them in the morning. I love how my daughter gets up and dances and tries to sing the songs. It's great to know there are still shows out there to teach your children about good behaviour at the same time having a great time. Thanks Imagination Movers!

Expressions of my blog!

Well I made it through this part of the day trying to make my house cleaning work for me. The kids were in my face most of the day when I've been trying to get things done but that's how kids work. They know when it's time to get in your face at the wrong time. I don't like housework so getting them involved and turning it into something they think is fun not realizing how not fun housework really is helps me. Now I'm tired and over stressed but I had a good friend stop by and we had our weekly bible study which helps me and that's a good thing. Even though we both have different religious views I like learning and I like her as a person. I'm starting to like this blog and at first when I decided to start this blog I figured I would jump right in and start writing whatever comes to my mind. Now I try to figure out what I want to write about but most of the time I'm just flying on the seat of my pants because the outcome never turns out the way I planned. At first, I didn't want to disclose private information but then I was like... this isn't me. I'm a very emotionally driven person and most of the things I talk about are about what I've experienced and what my thoughts are about situations I've come across. In my creative writing class in High School the teacher said write what your know so that's where I get all my writing material from. I'm not ashamed to express my thoughts and my private struggles because unless you are not human everyone at one time had inner struggles. I'm just a little more open with my struggles and everyday life experiences. I'm actually a very shy person until you get to know me and then I can't stop talking. It's weird how shy I am and I don't like social situations because I'm very uncomfortable and feel so awkward but hey this is my hang up I'm working on. I know talking how shy I am and then I have a public blog discussing my most private information doesn't make sense but I like writing and if it helps me help someone else or gives someone some funny or not so funny reading then I'm doing something right....I think! I think I enjoy other peoples blogs because you get that inner voice you wouldn't get from talking face to face. It's like this blog is my way to express myself without having to talk to someone face to face. I have no problem talking about private situations with someone if they ask me and I'm happy to talk about it but it's not like what I write is what people chat in social situations and that's why I typically don't talk about it. I'm very open to my life even though I am shy. After reading what I'm writing talking about being shy and now I'm not really sure if I'm shy at all. Okay, I'm not shy anymore but I can think it. :) I think I'm realizing with all my life struggles and what I've been through in my life I'm come to understand people more and have compassion for people I wouldn't have if I didn't experience certain traumatic events in my life. I wouldn't call myself a victim but a survivor of child abuse. At the time of the abuse I thought it was the worst in the world and going through the emotions of why could this happen to me?, what have I done to deserve this? and your life keeps moving on and you're left like the forgotten trash but people have choices and I made the choice after self abuse and destruction to say I don't want to live like this anymore so I started taking responsibility for me and changed the way I saw the world. No victim here! It took me years to figure this out and it's not like my life transformation happened over night. I work on my struggles every day in some way like making sure I keep on the right path with my Eating Disorder or making sure I do right with my children. I'm evolving and changing every day and for me I hope for the better. Sometimes I'm a little to hard on myself and judge myself to hard but I'm working on this part of myself. I can be my own worst enemy sometimes and with the help of my psychologist from California has given me tools to help me over come some of these short comings I consider a pain in my butt. Which reminds me sometime I will need to get another psychologist here in Oregon but right now it's not on the top of my list of to do so maybe in the Spring or when the hubby thinks I'm getting a little crazy..lol. Like my psychologist would tell me "The only control you have are the choices you make", my motto in life! Stick it, live by it and pass it on!!!!!

Life moves on!

Well I guess this is a new day. FRIDAY! I love Fridays because tonight is Scifi night starting off with Stargate Atlantis (with some Flanigan) and then Sanctuary. Oh I found my book I was looking for yesterday. I actually found it last night while I was taking the zillion drugs and vitamins I take on a daily basis and just happened to look up one shelf and sure enough there it was above all my drugs. I was like huh... why would I put it there seeing how I only keep all my drugs here? I don't even want to think why I would put a book there but anyway I found it. Thanksgiving is coming up and spending with the Hubby's family will be fun and don't get me started on Christmas. My hubby thought he would have to fly down to Mountain View, California in the beginning of December for meetings and such but found out this morning he won't have to go which is a good thing for me because I have my Neurology appointment on the 4th of December and I need him for this appointment to hold my hand. I'm getting used to all the testing and all the Doctor appointments but I still act like a baby and need his support for all my appointments. So far it's been frustrating doing a test..waiting..then finding out the test is normal. I should be happy I'm normal..right!! but it doesn't help when I have symptoms that something isn't right. It's not right when I have seizure like spells and can't be out long thinking I'm going to faint every 5 seconds so I'm definitely not normal. I don't want to have a relationship with the ER and I have been there twice in September and it's not fun. Something is going on with me so hopefully time will tell and I get results soon why I'm the way I am. I can't accept this to be my way of life. I can't have my daughter worry about me because she shouldn't have to at the age of 3. I should be worried for her because I'm the mother here. I have good days and sometimes I struggle. I'm not trying to feel sorry for myself because it doesn't help the situation any. My children need a mother in good spirits and there is a time and place when I need a good cry just to relieve some of the burden. Being sick isn't fun and sometimes I really do think it's all in my head so I do things I would do normally before I got sick and then my body goes.. hey what's up? and then I used up my energy for the day. It's not fun having no energy and some days I don't know how I managed to get through the day. I actually know how I manage from learning at a young age to survive internally and have the inner strength to make it one day at a time. I use my inner strength to get me throught the day. Some days are easy to do the basic things like taking care of the children but other days I need that extra push and then I remember the Poem "Footprints" and I make it until the hubby gets off work. We make it work right now because we don't have the control so there is nothing we can do. All I can do is for me to take care of me like taking my drugs and getting my blood tests done once a month and go to my various Doctor appointments. Life moves on and sometime it may not be what we want or the outcome to be what we want but you work what you got. Right now, I'm struggling to function and it sucks but that's what I have to work with right now and I have to accept it until Doctor's get that light bulb moment and figure out what's up with my health! Take care, Peace!

Waiting!

I don't understand how I managed to write two entries in one day but here I am writing again. Oh so lucky! While I'm pondering the meaning of life while my children are in there rooms taking a nap or quiet time which ever fits them I'm sitting here watching a re-run of Seventh Heaven listening to some music because that's what I do is listen to music when I have time to myself when nothing suits my boredom like cleaning the house, doing the dishes or laundry so listening to music and trying to sing is my idea of some fun. I realized all I do is wait for things to happen like waiting for my Doctor's to figure out why I'm anemic or waiting until a favorite show is coming up or for the weekend to come so the family can spend the two days to hang out together. Why is waiting a bad thing or maybe it isn't? Whatever the reason I like to wait is up for grabs if someone wants to analyze my situation. Oh I still didn't find the book yet and maybe someday it will show up and then be reminded why I put it there in the first place like not letting the children get a hold of it because believe me my children like to murder books by eating them and ripping them to shreds then using books for what they are meant for..reading. I have to give them some slack for being 3 and 1 but I'm sure I put that book in a place where the children couldn't get there grubby little hands on to ruin my precious book ...lol seriously... okay but in the mean time I don't remember where this safe spot is or I would have found the book already. I joined Twitter and I haven't figured out the premise of this widget yet but maybe when I start using it more often I'll figure out why it's so fun or maybe I may drop it...time will tell. Back to music.. I'm listening to a Pink song and something popped into my head when my BFF and I would hang in her room singing on the top of our lungs and this one night we were singing the American anthem and just as we were done we heard someone outside started singing the Canadian anthem. I had to laugh at that memory. I have so many like that. It's weird that a lot of my good memories surround music. Huh...I wonder what that's says about me? Areosmith is another group I like listening to. Right now I'm listening to the song "I don't want to miss a thing" from the movie Armageddon. I love that movie and it doesn't have to do with Ben Affleck or anything (wink). Okay it does but I just like the whole story and it's a great movie. Anyway the song Aerosmith sings for that movie is one of my favorite songs since the hubby and I got together. I claimed it as our song so every time I listen to this song I get all sentimental for some reason. Other than being forgetful and brain dead today my day is going fairly great. I only had to break up one fight between the kids this morning which means a good day. I swear they love to hate each other so when they are getting along I try to snap a picture of this kindness because they tend to not behave well together. The daughter likes to tease her little brother and he likes to poke her eyes out. Sigh.. so saying this is a good day I mean it. I do like when the daughter gets upset when her little brother gets hurts when she didn't conflict the pain so at least I know she has some compassion towards her brother. This coming from a 2 year old wanting us to give her little brother to the neighbours when he was 2 months old..lol I like when her first comment after he hurts himself is "I didn't do it" to comforting him. Makes my heart melt until a few minutes later she body slams him to the floor for taking one of her Thomas the Tank engine toys. I can only hope this is a faze and they really do love each other. I'll have to wait and see :) Take care, Peace!

I think I'm in the Bermuda Triangle!

It's been quite a morning in my household. Neither I have lost my mind or I'm not as organized as I thought which in my world of me I think I'm really organized trying to make my life a little easier knowing if I want to find something I know where in the house to get it and then again I think I lost my mind along time ago so the first suggestion doesn't work in this situation well anyway the little one's needed their toe nails cut this morning and as much as I hate to do this with the scream on the top of your lungs and having to wrestle with children who are stronger than you isn't my idea of a great time. I went to get the clippers and I couldn't find them like they just vanished into thin air. I was thinking what's up with that? I remember having them yesterday because I used them yesterday and put them back where I keep them on our mantel in the kids baby basket with all the other baby needs and sure enough they are not in there after I dumped everything on the floor to rummage through everything and nope, they were not in there so I had to put everything back in the basket before the little finger snatchers decided to grab something and take off with it. So I was thinking where in the house could they be and they are gone and I'm sure the kids like that idea not having to get their nails cut today. Then there was this book I bought awhile back and decided it was time to start reading it because the children were having a great time playing by themselves and here I was getting a little bored so I went up to my bedroom to grab the book and it wasn't in the pile of books I have beside the bed. I was thinking that is strange because I put every book I buy there so then I was thinking maybe the cats knocked it under the bed seeing how the cats have super human strength and batted the book under the bed. Well I don't think they did that but who knows.. maybe..okay it's far fetched but I thought about it. I looked under the bed and all I found under the bed was a huge hair dust ball and a quarter and no book. So I went downstairs and looked into the pile of mail that's been collecting for months on my workstation because I'm to lazy to do anything with it but collect dust and stare at it until I just walk away not wanting to deal with the pile of mail and thinking it must be there seeing how everything else in the house gets piled in that spot but no book. I am bummed because the book seemed interesting. The book is Running with Scissors if you must know. Then I was thinking maybe I didn't even buy the book so turning my house upside down is a waste of time if I didn't buy the book and now I feel like I have to clean out the mail and get rid of all it and having to organize it isn't my idea of fun. I was just hoping if I didn't think about the pile of mail it would go away like the saying "out of sight out of mind" and more like for me "don't think about it and it will go away". Then it was time for lunch so looking for the book went on the side burner for awhile but I was still trying to remember if I even bought the book and then I remembered buying the book a few weeks before Halloween from Target so at least I'm not that insane but it still doesn't help me find the book in my house and where can the book be? It's not like we have this huge mansion with a zillion rooms so it has to be somewhere. It has to be somewhere! Geez, it's only a book and it vanished into thin air with everything else when you need to use it. Sometimes this is the story of my life. Now I'm bothered because I just am. sigh!!!!!

Remembrance Day!

Remembrance Day a Canadian Holiday and is a day to commemorate the sacrifices of members of the armed forces and of civilians in times of war. (also known as Poppy Day, Armistice Day or Veterans Day) In Flanders Fields In Flanders fields the poppies blow Between the crosses, row on row, That mark our place; and in the sky The larks, still bravely singing, fly Scarce heard amid the guns below. We are the dead. Short days ago We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow, Loved, and were loved, and now we lie In Flanders fields. Take up our quarrel with the foe: To you from failing hands we throw The torch; be yours to hold it high. If ye break faith with us who die We shall not sleep, though poppies grow In Flanders fields. — Lt.-Col. John McCrae A Canadian physician and Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae wrote it on May 3, 1915 during the First World War. Flanders is a geographical region located in parts of present day Belgium, France, and the Netherlands. The poppies referred to in the poem grew in profusion in Flanders where war casualties had been buried and thus became a symbol of Remembrance Day. I will always remember you this day November 11th. Thank you and God bless!

Talking about Eating is not my idea of fun!

Talking about my eating isn't my idea of something I like to discuss but this morning I need too. I ended my long relationship to a Eating Disorder online group this morning. I don't go on a daily basis but when times of struggle I go to read peoples posts and I try to remind myself why it's so important to me to keep battling my quest of a better life for me and my family. It's a daily struggle and it's hard but you work your program the best way you can and get by each day knowing you are doing the best you can. This morning I was feeling a little anxiety for the up in coming Thanksgiving dinner because one of the hang ups I have is eating in front of people. I don't feel comfortable about it and I know it sounds silly but I do so I wanted to work out my situation before I spiral out of control and do something stupid. So this morning I decided to go and get support. I find being around strangers with similar struggles as me and I feel like I'm not alone with my thoughts. Well I decided to this morning I'm not going to be apart of this Eating Disorder group anymore. I am very sad by this because I know in the past it has given me strength to say not today. This disease isn't going to win today! Well I went to the group and sure enough their was a discussion on this very topic and I was thinking wow this is right up my alley so I started reading some posts and felt like my help group turned into a pro eating disorder group. I felt heart broken so I wrote to the admin and she wrote me back saying the members in the group can talk about whatever they choose and if I didn't like it I could leave. I've been apart of this group for 8 years now and I'm tired right now and let down. I feel like my hope just went out the window but as much as I'm feeling so out of control right now I know I need to find another group so I can keep moving forward. It breaks my heart feeling like I don't have support when I need it like I'm all alone here trying to make my recovery work. I know right now I'm doing the best I can but it was always comforting knowing when I needed that extra push to put my head in the right direction I knew I had somewhere to go and this morning wasn't the case. I'm left in limbo feeling like I was failed this morning by a group I thought was on my side and strangers helping strangers getting support for a disease that wants to keep you in a dark destructive place in your head and then come to find out my sanctuary is over run by the very disease that this group was trying to fight against. I'm blue this morning. I may be down today but I'll find my inner strength to get me through this hard day. I will have to learn not only can I do this today but sometimes I may not get the support I need and learn to deal with my eating disorder without the help once in awhile but I do need to find another group. So many out there and I hope I find one I feel comfortable joining. Take care, Peace!

Good chat and learning about life!

The hubby and I had a great talk last night talking about how I've been so blue in the past recent days. I was bothered and I couldn't make sense of my heartache surrounding my religion and the way I was feeling attacked. I love my relationship with my hubby and I can count on him for comfort knowing what I'm saying isn't foolish. He cares for me and we will talk until I have some peace in my heart. We stayed up way to late but it was all worth it. I did some reading today and to my amazement I'm feeling much better in my world called faith. I typically don't talk about my faith because it's private to me and my relationship with God is my personal business. My faith in religion is only a part of who I am as a whole. I strive to be the best I can and I constantly am wanting to learn more. I don't try to think I know everything and that's why I feel I need to understand everything around me. I want to understand the way someone else perceives the world from their point of view for maybe they may say something I didn't know or say something from a point of view that makes sense also. I strive on the fact I don't know much and it gives me the challenge to learn, read and educate myself on issues, world views and understanding I'm just one person in this world of many of strong individuals who are different and who have a lot to talk about. I wouldn't call myself smart but I do feel my struggles in my life up until a few years ago have gave me the stepping stone to know about forgiveness and the power of prayer. I really never called myself religious growing up or even felt like I had any sort of faith really. I learned to grow as a person because I know I need strength in something stronger than I am and to believe God will guide me during my struggles if I ask him for help. Life will be good as long as I believe. Take care, Peace!